Not Coping

Lots of things, hey. I don’t know what to do.

Im sorry to put this on you.

I haven’t asked how are you doing @Captain24?

Good night @creative_writer hope you have a good day tomorrow.

It’s ok @Birdofparadise8. We are here to support each other. I just have to be very careful about what I say.

I get that you don’t feel like you belong. The pain just hurts so much. But it will ease and it will get easier. I know that you can’t see it now. I couldn’t see it 2 weeks ago and I knew that there is better times ahead.

That decision is final!

Do you have a bucket list?

Yes it’s a bit tricky with what we can talk about on here with this topic.

You were feeling like I am two weeks ago?

If you don’t mind me asking how did you get through it?

It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

No I don’t really have a bucket list @Captain24

Yes I was @Birdofparadise8. That was when I rang the GP surgery and they fitted me in in an hr. I was honest with her and told her everything. I then had to promise her I wouldn’t.

The next night I had done most of my plan but stopped at the last minute. I had made a promise and I am true to my word. That’s what stopped me.

I was in that pain before then and about a week after. Then I slowly came up. I actually told the psychiatrist yesterday that I was pretty low but it felt good because I wasn’t like I was before!

What did I do? I really only had the gp as support because my MH nurse was away. I just had to sit with it and ride the wave! I felt like I was going to drown a few times but right now I think I’m nearly at the shore.

You can ride it through. Is this the first time you have felt this

Ah ok that was good you had your GP.

I suppose I’ll just have to try and wait it out. I’m just scared to what I could do because deep down I don’t want to, but I feel like it’s the only option.

I’ve had thought like this come and go, but this has been the most intense the past week or so @Captain24

My words to my GP where ‘I want to but don’t think I can’ @Birdofparadise8

I understand exactly where you are coming from. The first time my was really intense is when I went and got help. I think the first one is the most confronting.

It’s a pretty rough time of year but can you get into your doctor next week? If you tell the receptionist that you are have SI you may get in.

Save all the crisis numbers into your phone that way if you need them then you have them at hand. Also the is an app beyond now. It’s a safety plan app for when you feel this bad. It’s easier to set it up when you are in a better frame of mind. But I did mine in your current state.

You can ride it out and you will ride it out. You said deep down you don’t want to. Listen to that voice. I have faith in you. You are so much stronger than you realise

When I’m in that dangerous mind set I actually stay off some specific threads on here to not trigger me any further.

I’m here for you too @Birdofparadise8

💚❤️💚

It sounds like your defs having a shit time mate and that sucks but just keep your head up and roll with the punches - we can't expect ourselves to always be 100% strong and resilient to shit so sometimes we have to reach out to others to get what is needed for ourselves and our wellbeing so I don't think you posting this was at all the wrong thing to do - I just hope that no matter what you know that your not alone in what you are going through and although sometimes our allies presence isn't quite apparent to us that no matter what there's always people out there who are going to be on your side , goodnight and tc mate , all the best

I wish I could get into my GP she’s on leave till mid January.

I do have a safety plan so I’ll try and use that a bit more.

Thank you for that @Captain24 I’ll try my best that’s all I can do.