Not Coping

Hey hello my @traveller 😀❤

Good morning @Birdofparadise8 @Shaz51 @creative_writer @tyme

Hey @Birdofparadise8 Ive been thinking about you. Do you think that maybe moving to the mainland way from your family is a contributing factor of your mood?

I was 18 and got offered a job in Sydney. The fear of having to move had me in tears every time someone mentioned it. I couldn’t do it. However I got offered a job when I was 21 in a town 1 1/2 hrs away and I was ready to go. It did cause me a lot of pain and anxiety but I was strong enough and never looked back. I believe it was one of the best things I have ever done.

Morning @Captain24 how are you?

No I don’t think so it’s the one thing I’m looking forward to. My mum has really bad attachment issues towards me so I hope being away might help lesson that. Yeah I’m a little nervous and all, but I think the change is going to really help me sure it’s going to be stressful, challenging and have it’s ups and downs. I’m already going thought that now so one more change won’t hurt.

I think it’s all the bullying that I experienced at school for like 10 years has really damaged my self work and self esteem to the point I don’t have any. They were the root of my depression is from I think.

So far I think I’m ok @Birdofparadise8. I had an amazing psychiatrist app yesterday and when I left after laughing and joking with her I felt a bit better. She even cared about what supports I had in place for the next week!

I get the attachment issues! They will be lessened when you are not there. I think when I left for 5 years that’s when I had the best relationship with my mum. Now that I’ve been back for 17 years and got a fantastic job 5 years ago she is living her life through me.

It will be challenging but when I left I discovered what real friends were and had a life that I wouldn’t change for the world. I grew so much as a person and discover who I was. It will be an amazing experience for you.

As for the bullying it does damage you. 30 years later and I can still remember a lot of it word for word and what they did. It’s hard to change your self worth and self-esteem. I still struggle with that. I believe if someone had of taken me seriously years ago it may have helped me. But I guess it wasn’t the time for me. Since my diagnosis this year and all the help I’m getting it is starting to change.

If you can find a good team in Melbourne you may find that things will improve with your MH. You may find yourself, your self worth and your self esteem.

I do think you have a lot to offer and are an amazing person. This will be your time. I’m sure of it.

Thank you @Captain24

I’m sure it will be a good time.

I do hope I can find good supports over there.

Bullying really does take a toll.

You doing much today I have work so fun hahaha.

I don’t work again until the 28th @Birdofparadise8 Christmas night is at my house so I have heaps to do. I’ve written a job list for today and tomorrow! Now I just need to find the motivation to do it.

I hope you have a good shift

Sounds nice @Captain24

I work again all next week yay.

At least while you’re working you aren’t sitting around at home @Birdofparadise8. That’s when I find things the hardest

Yeah, work keeps me busy so I don't overthink everything.

You doing much today @Captain24?

I work 5 shifts on a row. Varying days and nights. It keeps me reasonably distracted depending on my task.

so far I’ve cleaned the pantry and bathrooms. I have also dusted, done the dishes and a load of washing. Now I’m trying to force myself to mow the front lawn!

How long is your shift today @Birdofparadise8