Not Coping

I'm sorry @Bow

Did you want to talk about anything?

I'm alright. I don't know if you know who morgan hipworth is, but I just went to the opening of his new bakery Bistro Morgan. He is on facebook and Instagram. You should have a google. He was giving away 300 doughnuts for free today. I was number 13. They were so good.

No I haven’t heard of him, @Birdofparadise8 but his instagram looks yummy. And free food is always the best!

grief is hard… just trying to hold everything together cause I’m scared of losing control. And got so much of my own hm stuff inside going on that I am finding difficult to control. But can’t let people know about it cause it doesn’t feel right when other stuff is going on around me

It is so good if you are ever near his two cafes, you should go so worth it @Bow

Yeah, that would be hard. Do you see your psychologist soon?

Are you a coffee drinker @Birdofparadise8 whats your go to cafe drink??

yeah I’m due to see my psychologist on Wednesday. I have a busy week this week with appointments 😩

No I don't like coffee @Bow. Do you? I do like hot chocolate or chai latte.

I feel you there. I had three in one day on Wednesday just gone it's a bit of a drainer.

No I don’t drink coffee either @Birdofparadise8 love the smell of it though. I wish I liked it. I usually go with a chai, or if it’s made with real melted chocolate, a hot chocolate.
I get my caffeine hit from a can of V though, currently sipping on a sugar free blue V.

yeah lots of appointments can be draining for sure. Community mh are holding a case conference on Monday, everyone will be in attendance, including me. Freaking out about that one! Tuesday I have a medical assessment for my DSP application- that’s with a clinical psychologist and I’m freaking out about that too. Wednesday is my psychologist and Thursday is my dietitian. And I am suppose to book a gp appointment in too but am avoiding that one.

what are you up to today?

What is a real, real hot chocolate @Bow. I like the smell, too, I just find it too bitter.

Who will be at this conference?

I can't have Vs as they might affect my heart, according to my mum. I also don't think I like the taste. I've tried red bull, but I'm not sure.

I'm just working on an assignment.

I'm going out for lunch with my aunt tomorrow and a walk, then to the footy with my uncle. I'll be watching Carlton play. I can't wait.

Don't you like your GP? Mine is so nice. I even work with her lol at the hospital I'm at haha.

I don't know how I'm going to like having to pay for a pdoc it's at least $500. Maybe I need to convince the comm MH to take me if I get worse. I don't want to, but I don't know what to do. They love to judge me, though. The pdoc wasn't even that nice.

A real hot chocolate made from melted chocolate instead of some powder mix @Birdofparadise8 A couple of my favourite cafes have big pots of melted chocolate ready to go. It’s the best.

yeah energy drinks can be bad for you. They have warnings on them. I figure they can’t be any worse than a couple of cups of coffee. I don’t like the regular red bull. Found a couple of nice flavours overseas.

the case conference on Monday- my psychiatrist, case manager, GP and dietitian will be there as well as 2 of my support workers. My psychologist won’t be there cause she doesn’t work Mondays. Not sure who else they have organised from comm mh.

it’s not that I don’t like my gp. She is lovely. She’s been really helpful. I’m just meant to get my bloods checked fortnightly and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to know what my levels are at and certainly don’t want any of my team to know.

lunch a walk and the footy sound like a nice way to spend the day. I’ve been to one afl game, it was the swans, had free tickets. I’m not a fan. But I can at least say I’ve been to a game.

im real sorry your stuck with this situation with comm mh and a pdoc. It’s hard. And it ducks.

Are they in the city in melb @Bow

Mmm do V drinks taste better?

Ah okay sounds like that would be a bit intimidating, but I guess they all just want to support you the best they can.

What's your dietitian like?

Ah okay I get that. That would be hard. I'm sure she just wants to make sure you are safe.

Yes, it will be nice. The crowd makes it so much better.

No I think they are just local to me @Birdofparadise8 but I’m sure you’d find a cafe that makes hot chocolates like that.

I do like V drinks. It’s one of my favourites. I just drink the sugar free ones.

yeah that’s for sure… intimidating! Scared they will gang up on me!

my dietitian is amazing. She is the one that called the case conference. She was concerned about how some of my treating team addressed my eating issues and my body. Just really unhelpful conversations. So she wants everyone in the same page in regards to that. My dietitian is trauma informed and really, she could be my psychologist the way that she helps me.