Hi @Roughsea,
Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. Please know this is a safe and anonymous space with many kind members with a variety of lived experiences.
Thank you for sharing some of your story with us - I know it can be difficult, particularly with the first few posts. Your story resonates with me as a close family member of mine was diagnosed with Bipolar I many years ago. When he was first diagnosed I remember it was quite a rollercoaster ride for him around medications (and their side effects), understanding the diagnosis, processing what was going on etc. It did take time but through the help of his professional team he did find the medications that worked best for him. He also tried to learn as much as he could about Bipolar, reached out to support from others with the same diagnosis, and saw a therapist.
I would encourage you to be honest with your psychiatrist around how you are feeling as I would imagine your thoughts and emotions around this are very relatable to a lot of people in similar circumstances - at the end of the day your psychiatrist is there to support you as well as they can.
Here is a link to to some lived experience forum discussion on the SANE forums that you may find useful bipolar discussions. I have also attached this factsheet and guide for bipolar.
Please be kind to yourself - it takes time to process any diagnosis. It also can take time to find the medication and techniques that work the best for you. I find speaking to others that have lived experience can also be a great benefit too.
Warm wishes,
FloatingFeather
PS. On an aside, if you want to directly chat with someone on the Forums use the @ symbol and then start typing their name directly after it. A dropdown box should appear, and you then select their name. This ensures that they are notified of any posts you mention them in.