Not so sure if this is the right forum

I have been struggling with depression lately, I lost someone very important around seven years ago, during this time I have been doing ok mostly although I have always missed her, but recently its just getting worse. I travelled around the world pre covid, and the only thing on my mind was what a beautiful world, so sad shes not here by my side. I think it was because me gradually became financially free that makes me think nothing really matters in this world, sounds strange but when money becomes a number you start to realise the things money cant buy. I am not sure if this is the forum to post things like this but I have thoughts that scares me, even though I've always considered me as mentally strong.