Skyehigh911Contributor
PtSD
My last ptsd attack was a doozy. I knew it would be. I told myself when I went back to my man that if he flipped out over his weat bix or that I hadn't heated up his milk properly that he had a mental illness and therefore I could release myself from blame and never look back. Bit by bit over the years he out of the blue , randomly, sometimes when I was still waking up in bed, just lash out like an insane wild man...yell..scream I my face....jump up and down....the screaming my God was like a screeching demond....that's when I started to know I had ptsd and it came to the surface and would throw me up against the wall without mercy. I'd beg him please don't scream ..we can talk about anything you want to. I'm here for you baby but just don't scream at me like that I had a abusive step father that screamed till the veins in his neck pulsated and he spat on me while he screamed...but every 2 weeks or so like clock work he flipped out. I will never know the truth about it. Did he have a mental illness ? But here I am now..I'm completely ruined after 12 years. I just got diagnosed with shingles. My God it's so painful. I want to live but I don't have much faith that I'll get through this . I just haven't got enough healing power left in me
This is a nice safe place to talk and I need this
Thankyou
