PtSD

@Skyehigh911

That would be very traumatic for you. It is how trauma is often transmitted. Despite all the talk about trauma a lot of women in the community bear the load in the their intimate partner relationships. Sounds like your partner needs help, but maybe is not getting any for himself.

I had to leave to heal, though will never heal completely. Take care of you.

Hey @Skyehigh911

That is a lot to go through, and your brain would be in such an intense state with it sending out chemicals to help you protect yourself. When this has been done over a long period, it can be really hard for the brain to go back to a sense of not feeling in danger all the time.

Are you safe now or are you still in this situation with your partner?

Hey there @Skyehigh911

That does sound really tough, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story on the SANE forums with us, it must be a hard thing to open up about.

I just wanted to check in and see how you are feeling, and very importantly, are you safe?

Sitting with you,

Amber22

Welcome to the forums @Skyehigh911 !

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you will be able to find the support you are looking for on the forums.

I look forward to seeing you around on the forums.

Do you have any particular interests so that I can perhaps guide you to some threads?

Speak soon, tyme

Oh My @Skyehigh911 this is horrible that you are going thru this.

I agree with the other comments & it's makes me feel proud to be part of SANE to see wonderful, intelligent comments from members to you.

This is a nice safe place to talk and I need this

i like that you said this. You are a part of a community now. We are happy you found us! 💜

The part about your stepfather screaming at you & spitting - it's awful. Being exposed to that kind of rage is incomprehensible.

Yes, as @AussieRecharger mentioned, our brain chemicals are altered in trauma. Are you getting professional help?

I'm not sure if this is at all helpful - when I have experienced an emptiness to continue - I think it's ok to 'give up '. Does that make any sense?

It's like the problem is so beyond my capabilities, - that I'm only waisting more energy in trying to battle it.

I'm not particularly religious at all - another word might be "surrender'. I say to myself, or the universe, "ok, this is too much for me now - I happily surrender this to someone, or something else now."

I don't know if this is relevant to you.

Thankyou for sharing & reaching out.

Be safe.

Yes what you said is very relevant to me. I literally did just that. I surrendered and gave it all up .. what is there left to do? I was alone and lost and then I found this forum and I'm really grateful for everyone's posts