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Hi and welcome @Anxiousmavis , it's good to have you here.

I too have OCD (germophobia) and anxiety. I know how terrible they can be. I don't have the chemicals thing or the harming others thing, which I understand can be absolutely awful 😞 I'm sorry to hear.

I understand how it takes over your life and how exhausting it is. I have to know the history of every single item that I come into contact with, and whether it has touched germs, and what sort of germs, etc. If I don't know the history, I assume it's very germy. I have different levels of classification of how germy things are, too, so everything must be slotted into a level and treated accordingly with different levels of disinfection and cleaning.

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@Anxiousmavis wrote:

my ocd is really affecting my life and I guess I just needed to reach out as therapy and Drs have not helped.

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I'm wondering two things: whether you have any support in terms of meds (we are not allowed to mention names of medication), and whether you and your therapist have tried ERP therapy? Exposure Response Prevention therapy is the standard treatment for OCD. (I find it frightning!)

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

Hi @Anxiousmavis,

It sounds like you have a lot going through your mind right now. I have had OCD in the past but it was more around checking doors/windows were locked, stove was off etc. I had a heads up around it though because my dad suffered from exactly the same concerns for much of his adult life so I knew what was happening to me and was able to get treatment early before it become all consuming. I found CBT worked well for me. Is this something you have tried (had any luck with)? After seeing my dad struggle with OCD I can understand how much it can control your day to day life.

For me, OCD and anxiety feed each other. Is this something you find?

I really feel for you and while I know (from what you have written) that you haven't had any luck with therapy and/or doctors I would really encourage you to keep trying and persisting because OCD and anxiety are treatable. Having said that please know I really understand how difficult this journey is for you - I get that the theory of OCD and anxiety being treatable is not always so easy in practice.

Sending you best wishes,

FloatingFeather

I had OCD as a child @Anxiousmavis . I remember the anxiety, the tears, the confusion. It was horrible @FloatingFeather .

I couldn’t understand why I’d cry myself to sleep each night if I hadn’t checked that the taps wasn’t dripping or that the lights weren’t on… not just checking once. But again…and again…and again.

I remember it so clearly even today.

Then, I had a change of surroundings. And it seemed like overnight, the OCD which I had for years finally disappeared.

About 20 years later, when I was very unwell mentally, OCD perked it’s head again. But it was the least of my worries then. Through non-OCD specific therapy, I eventually got on top of my MH including depression, OCD, anxiety, BPD, disordered eating… just to name a few.

I hope you get an the help you deserve @Anxiousmavis