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Mental Health & Happiness

BlueBaySenior Contributor17 Sept 2022, 6:50 pm AEST

Mental Health & Happiness

Hi everyone

I have been thinking lately why I feel strange when I either smile or laugh. I feel it is very much connected to my mental illness; my childhood etc.

It got me thinking why I don't like feeling happy. And i think these are some of the reasons:

1. not accepting or allowing myself to be happy

2. fear of something bad or wrong happening

3. it just doesn't feel right, like it's fake

Of course I do smile and laugh especially with my granddaughter. With the recent purchase of our new home I feel i should be happier, excited - but i am just going with the flow. Is it because i have been so stressed looking for a house that now it's a big sigh feeling.

Could it be self sabotage? Is it a protection thing? I'm not sure what others think about this but can anyone relate. Is it a black and white BPD thing where I am either happy or sad and can't be both.

i really don't know what i am trying to say or if this makes any sense.

22 replies

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In response to: Mental Health & Happiness

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor26 Sept 2022, 12:55 pm AEST

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

How are you today @BlueBay ?

I’ve just gone for a drive to a country town and 3.5hrs away from home.

It’s been sprinkling slightly, but lovely to get out.

Are you doing some more packing today?

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

BlueBaySenior Contributor26 Sept 2022, 1:01 pm AEST

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

That’s nice you’ve gone for a country drive @BPDSurvivor

hope you enjoy your day

no I’m not packing today

I seem to crash on mondays after the weekends

don't know why

i saw my dr this morning who filled out a form for centrelink

I couldn’t tell him about my eating issues (or not wanting to eat)

I called the CATT team before. I need to talk about recent flashback and they will call me later

I just put dinner on - chicken paprika drumsticks with sour cream.

im laying in my bed watching tv while crocheting

my daughter has gone away with partner snd all three girls. 8 hour drive. They’re away for 4 days. It’s nice her partner can take time off on school holidays and go away. It’s easier when you have your own business.

it’s cold here

just put heater on and having a coffee

hi @maddison @NatureLover 👋

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