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Something’s not right

Mental Health & Happiness

Mental Health & Happiness

Hi everyone

I have been thinking lately why I feel strange when I either smile or laugh. I feel it is very much connected to my mental illness; my childhood etc.

It got me thinking why I don't like feeling happy. And i think these are some of the reasons:

1. not accepting or allowing myself to be happy

2. fear of something bad or wrong happening

3. it just doesn't feel right, like it's fake

Of course I do smile and laugh especially with my granddaughter. With the recent purchase of our new home I feel i should be happier, excited - but i am just going with the flow. Is it because i have been so stressed looking for a house that now it's a big sigh feeling.

Could it be self sabotage? Is it a protection thing? I'm not sure what others think about this but can anyone relate. Is it a black and white BPD thing where I am either happy or sad and can't be both.

i really don't know what i am trying to say or if this makes any sense.

22 replies

11 - 20 of 22

In response to: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

My niece gets spoilt during school holidays @maddison . She spent some time early in the morning with me, then she went to a holiday craft program with her mum (my sister), then she went to an Oz Animal

show, then a creepy crawlies show where she got to sit in a butterfly enclosure, look at butterfly specimens through a microscope etc.

After that, she came back to me so we could read together, have dinner, read some more and now she’s gone home.

Tomorrow we are going to the pool together, then having lunch.

All this can be done while her siblings are at daycare and she’s on school holidays. She’s got two younger siblings (4 and 2 years old).

Im a teacher and her mum’s a teacher so we are all on school holidays together!

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Wow! So much fun @BPDSurvivor what an amazingly lucky little girl💜 they sound like great activities too.

I wonder what her favourite part of the day was?

I like the butterfly enclosure..🦋!

Enjoy your day at the pool tomorrow🙂

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Hey @maddison ,

I’m taking her to the shops today along with her little brother. Then I’ll do some gardening at my house before sending them home.

Spoilt!

Hope you are having a good day!

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Thankyou!

Sounds lovely @BPDSurvivor I'm imagining there might be one or two favourite presents bought?

What a good Aunty you are. I'm sure the kids treasure their schools holidays & time spent with you.

Hope you have beautiful day...& lots of spoiling!!💜

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Argh… presents - of course! @maddison . Little Bluey sip cups from Boost juice… spoilt!

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Hey @BPDSurvivor @maddison

hope You’re both doing ok.

packed a few more boxes today mostly kitchen stuff. You don’t realise how much you have until you see all the boxes.

Time for a coffee. Hope you’re both having a nice afternoon. Xxxx

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

I’ve been a little low lately @BlueBay . I’m trying to stay on top of it as I’m aware.

I think it could be due to the lack of routine since the school holidays. My holidays are usually jam-packed, but not this holidays. I’m very much a routine-driven person.

It’s strange how all term I look forward to the holidays, then when these holidays come, I want to go back to routine…

Oh well. Next week I might be going away.

@BlueBay , all the best with your packing!

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

@BPDSurvivor Sorry you feel down...sending wishes for you...

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Thanks @NatureLover . I’m be okay. Just need to get back into the swing of things.

Hope this day is pleasant for you.

In response to: Re: Mental Health & Happiness

Re: Mental Health & Happiness

I’m sorry you’re feeling down @BPDSurvivor

hugs xxxooo

11 - 20 of 22