Love. Hard to break down walls

Hi @pip,

your boyfriend sounds like a genuine person. I'm sure he does have feelings for you. I'm just wondering if you are going to be satisfied with an online relationship that might not progress to anything else? I think these kind of relationships can be very rewarding, for a time, but in the long term?

I get the feeling that you want more than a pen-pal. Please correct me if I am wrong! I do not want to interfere, as, like I said, these type of things can be so rewarding, and these relationships are very common and people get so much out of them.

I had an email relationship going for a while with a man, years ago. However, I did not let it get in the way of actually going out and meeting people in the flesh. I still went out and potentially was interested in meeting someone else. That's because I didn't feel there could genuinely be a satisfying long-term connection with someone who only ever wanted to write. Plus, I had no idea how many other women he was writing to. We never wrote "I love you" or anything close to it. He did flirt with me and tell me I was beautiful and stuff like that, so there were definitely romantic connotations there.

Eventually we met up in person! I found that I was very attracted to this man and we got along well. He said that he wanted to be in a committed relationship with me. However, soon after that, we resumed simply emailing each other and nothing more eventuated. I ended the whole thing after a few weeks. I told him a wanted a real boyfriend and not a pen-pal!

I was so glad that I did this as I went on to meet my husband later that year!

Hi @pip,

I can absolutely understand not wanting to get married again or live with a partner. It's good to be independent. I really value my independence too.... except it is very nice to have someone to share a meal with, go to the movies with and hold hands with, as well.

I guess we all want a balance between independence and companionship. At my stage in life, I was 40 years old and never married- I wanted the full experience of having a supportive partner who lived with me and who I could count on to be there for me, day in and day out. I did not give up on this goal and luckily I met my now husband!

I'm just thinking that had I settled for less, then I would have ended up with an attractive pen-pal. It would have been a huge difference in what I wanted and what I got...

But I'm glad you are satisfied. 🙂