Love. Hard to break down walls

Hi everyone 😊

@utopia ..... thanks for including me .....

I'm not sure I have too much to contribute that's constructive, but I would like to tag along with the conversation.

My situation, which all of you know, has involved my guy losing his way and becoming someone else to a large degree .... very weird to experience but I'm guessing there are other mi's that can cause this to happen ..... so my challenge has been how to remain emotionally engaged with someone who has become emotionally absent, and altered their existence to the point where you struggle to work out where you fit in ..... at least we have parenting to keep us working together for a joint outcome .... which is what it is like to be ex's but co-parent amicably enough .....

Coming from a church background, and there will be others who relate to this, we grew up with the outlook that you keep sex off the table until everything else about the relationship is intimate and in good working order ..... which means the focus is on taking it slow, and exploring each other's intellect and value system, enjoying platonic experiences together, and just engaging in companionship first and foremost .... sex comes after every other commitment has been made - marriage, combining assets and finances, children if they are already present from a former partner, etc

This way is very supportive of taking it gently in terms of mental and emotional health, taking the time to draw closer across many months or even years, and ironing out all the speed bumps along the way.

In order to find this sort of approach in a potential partner, y'sorta have ta go where it's more commonly found ..... meaning you would have to socialise around community groups - churches probably foremost - or cultural groups which hold the same value systems in place, and even then it's usually based in a religious code of some sort.

Another area where you are likely to find companionship way ahead of sexual involvement is within community groups where there is physical injury or disability, or past emotional trauma where, like yourself, people take a break from engaging in intimate relationships and are slow or reluctant to take them back on.

I hope this helps ..... and is not too much of a ramble.

🌷💜