Ex has moved on :(

Thank you for sharing that @Chris1969 . As hard as it is, you can’t make people stay if their heart is to move on.

I acknowledge the pain @Chris1969 @Bee82 . If only the pain could go away. Please do something nice for yourselves because you know radical acceptance accepts the things we cannot change.

Grief comes in all shapes and forms and lingers for different periods of time. I hope you can find someone else you can speak to while your psychologist is not available @Bee82

@Chris1969 I am so sorry to hear this and can only imagine the pain you must be feeling. That is a long time to be married x

@Bee82 ,

I used to get so bogged down with terrible things that happened in my life. So much so that I stopped living. I was under the bed covers for a decade and slept my life away on sleep meds and antidepressants. Looking back, that was not life. That was not a life not worth living. I didn’t want to live.

So that was my life until I made the decision to make a difference. I couldn’t continue living that way where I never thought I’d live to see 25 years old. That decision was the day I started living. It took strength and determination to push back the power of negative, pain and hurt. The anger and upset that pulled me down each day had to be pushed away so that I could reach out and grasp onto hope.

I did this by finding things that made life worthwhile - such as children. I couldn’t let them down. I had to be alive for them. I wanted them to have someone to look to and not someone they’d grow up to remember - “she was always sleeping and under the covers”. For their sake, I needed to wake up. I needed to recover.

That was what allowed me to live. It gave me to courage to reach out and not give up. It made me resist helplessness and negativity.

I know this is hard @Bee82 , but it’s not something you can’t face. Allow your inner strength to lead you. You can do it!

@BPDSurvivorYep that is how I feel, everyday I wake up I think “great here I am again” … it’s a struggle to get out of bed & I just want to stay asleep so I don’t have to think about things.

everything is a struggle & I feel like maybe my tablets aren’t working. I can’t sleep at night either. I’m never happy & always yelling at my kids. Nothing makes me happy. I don’t stop I go to work I get home & don’t stop, showers, dinner, homework, lunches, washing .. don’t get to watch tv or even sit on the lounge wit them it’s never ending.

it’s getting close to Thursday when their dad picks them up for a week & Im anxious already .. will I see his face? Do I want to? Ughhh I don’t want to video call his phone so I can speak to them but I have to 😞

I just wish I could get him out of my head & not feel this way.

Just dropping by to offer support.. So hard trying to parent while you're grieving a past relationship. Looking after kids really is never ending. I hear how exhausted you are by it all @Bee82

Here for you in solidarity and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Just wondering if you should discuss the meds with your doctor if you feel they aren't working...

Take care

Thanks. It was. We're still together, she's here now, but I see the end

I was just thinking @Bee82 , can you plan ahead to ‘spoil’ yourself when your children are away? Even plan one thing each day so you have something to look forward to eg hairdressers, nails, retail therapy, lunch out?

I found scheduling things used to help me get through difficult times.

@BPDSurvivor @Chris1969 @Paperdaisy @Former-Member @Bunniekins so my ex came & picked my daughters up for the week .. I Had the girls stuff packed & ready to go I was going to walk out the door n go to Chermside but no he walks through the door tries talking to me tells me I look good for the 1st time in YEARS! Then asks me if I'm ok & hugs me I of course break down n say I just want u back .. he's telling me to stop crying then asks me if I've eaten n to go get something to eat with them. I go with them then he says we'll get kfc & take it back to ur place WTF! Then when he finishes eating he comes sits next to me on the couch tries talking to me I'm crying into his shoulder saying I don't want him to go, I'm sorry for everything blah blah he says I can't stay coz I know what will happen I'm still highly attracted to you & it's not the right thing to do! Asking me what size I am now? Have I been working out? Do I wear skirts now? Tells me my nails & toenails look nice like WTF!
calling me darling!!!!! Darling stop crying, settle down! Never called me that in his life! 😢😢😢 I am so confused & worried bout him dropping them home tomorrow I’ve been a mess all week the biggest mess 😭😭😭

This feels a bit off to me. Why do all that and say he can't be with you? Do you think he might do couples counselling to try to work out what's going on? If not, this seems likely to hurt you more....

@Bee82 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmbmeOgWsqE