Worried about my son being taken away. (TW - mentions self-harm and suicide)

Hi @Twilightsomniac

I'm so sorry to hear that you've got all of this on your plate at the moment, it sounds like a lot of really big conflicting feelings to manage.

I just wanted to reach out and let you know I'm sending all my support and warm feelings. I also want to thank you for taking the time to share your experience here with us.

I definitely find that when I'm under a lot of pressure and don't know what to do, sharing those feelings will often be the first step I take towards easing that pressure on myself. I hope that sharing your story here is able to give you some similar comfort.

Sitting with you! 💙

Hi @Twilightsomniac ,

I understand very well, from experience, what you are describing.

One thing that will help immensely is if you phone the school and arrange a meeting with the wellbeing co-ordinator, year level co-ordinator etc. During this time, you can explain what is happening. Remember, the school wants to help both you and your son.

This issue is when they DON'T know, they are obliged to make a mandatory report.

For the school to understand what is happening for your son may mean they are able to link him into wellbeing or engagement programs, work with you to work with him, and notify you of any observations of concern etc. If you can develop that working relationship with the school, it will make a WORLD of difference.

I know this because I've been there.

Rather than let the school come up with their own conclusions, you can tell them what it is. They don't remove children for the sake of it. And if need be, you can set up a monthly meeting with them until things improve for your son? This will show them you are working with them to support your child - after all, who wouldn't want the best for their child?

Please take care, and I look forward to hearing how things go.

Hey there @Twilightsomniac, it sounds like you have carrying a heavy weight at the moment, it's completely understandable that you're unsure what to do.

Firstly, have you got supports that you need in place for yourself? I know that to be SH or to have SI things can feel pretty dark and lonesome. Thank you for inviting us into that space with you ❤️ Have you got a safety plan? I've used this BeyondBlue page and app before and it's helped me feel a little more in control when the thoughts and urges strike.

Secondly, it is so clear to me that you really care for and want to protect your child from some of your own pain. That must be so difficult. And given what happened to you as a child, it's no wonder you're worried about what will happen now. I think @tyme suggestion is really good. And I know that the world has a long way to go, but I know schools and welfare has changed a bit in how they want to support families in similar positions. ❤️

I hope this helps, thank you for sharing your story and welcome ❤️

TuxedoCat

Hi @Former-Member, @tyme and everyone else passing through

Yes definitely big conflicting emotions but despite my anxiety around it I'll always do what is best for him.

Being a small town prep - 10 school with less than 200 kids they don't have year level coordinators, I do however talk with the principal and office staff and the knew from the day it happened because my hubby was out of town for the day because of work so a nurse at the hospital picked my son up from the school and I gave permission to relay what had happened but not tell Mr 10 details.

So the counsellor probably already been informed anyway but I have been asked if I wanted to speak to the counsellor and explain stuff so they know best how to help. He also has very high function autism and a learning disability and has trouble regulating his emotions because of this and often prefers to shut down than feel the emotion if he doesn't understand the emotion or it becomes to overwhelming to his system. He also struggles with sensory things like loud noise, food textures and touch textures like for example at home he just wears underpants and/or black board shorts.

The school does help us alot down to taking Mr 10 to and from school when I can't.

They do know I do the best I can but I always feel like I don't do enough or I'm failing him in someway it's so hard to see him shut down the way he does even over feelings joy or excitement because his system overloads.

But anyway rambling now will talk later.

Hi @Former-Member,

Sorry i didn't see your post before but it must have come up while I was typing the last reply I did 😅. I just wanted to say I do have personal supports and a really good dr and I do have safety measures in place including a room I can stay in at the hospital during they day while hubby and Mr 10 are gone if I don't trust myself to be alone. I take my laptop and there is a TV sometimes they let me go talk to the hospice patients especially those who don't get visitors and just talk with them. Honestly they can be some of the best therapists. But I have had to learn the hard way that making connections with them can hurt. But it's also sad when they are at that stage of life and no one visits them. One lady, who was the first one I built a relationship with thought I was her granddaughter nurses didn't understand at first why I didn't correct her but I thought it was better for her to think at least one family member was there for her in the end.

I actually started a new strategy suggested by my sister, she gave my these pens that are specifically for drawing on the skin and so I've started doing patterns and stuff like that and it does help somewhat.

Anyway thankyou @Former-Member, @tyme and @Former-Member for reaching out and I will keep you updated on things when I can

@Twilightsomniac it sounds like the community you have around you is so strong and you've taken so many steps to keep yourself safe ❤️ I hope you're really proud of that, even if sometimes it isn't enough ❤️

And what a beautiful, fulfilling way to spend some time by visiting older people. It must be tough sometimes, but you will be providing those folks with such joy ❤️

And I've used those pens too! We also have this thread where folks have discussed other alternatives to self harm in this post: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022 in case that's useful to you.

It's been so nice to meet you here 😊

Being in a small country school definitely has its pros and cons @Twilightsomniac - I guess there's not much you can hide... yet you also have the benefit of the community gathering around to support you.

Looking forward to hearing how things go for you,

tyme

@Twilightsomniac

I know you said you are in a country town. Just checking if you have a good therapist who is trauma informed. I know you said that you were in foster care as a child and you also said you slip into these major suicidal states. The reason I bring this up is because I want to make sure you have been diagnosed by A trauma informed psychiatrist or psychologist. A lot of the time Dissociative disorders are overlooked because not many practitioners are properly trained and you said that you were in a small town so probably not that much options.

Also many trauma clients with dissociative disorders present as having major depression.

please forgive me if you already have all of this covered and have all of your correct diagnosis. I just want to make sure you are being properly treated and taken care of.

In terms of your sin I can tell you really are giving everything to him and your number 1 thing is to keep him safe. I think you are doing all the right things. It’s good that the school knows so there are so surprises or miss understandings.

No one will take your child from you, they don’t like taking kid away from mum and dad. If anything they are going to try to support you in any way they can.

If you haven’t already , you should get checked for dissociative disorder though. It’s highly likely considering what you have said here.

Apparently Blue knot have a list of trauma psychologist

Hi @Little_Leopard,

I've actually been diagnosed with

C-PTSD

depression

Panic disorder

Anxiety

Social anxiety

And dissociative identity disorder

These diagnoses were made by a clinical trauma psychiatrist.

But yes it was over looked for many years.

My old profile on here I use to let my alters talk as well but decided not to allow it this time for personal reasons.

It is amazing how often dissociative disorders are overlooked.

@Twilightsomniac