Willy73Contributor
I confronted my uncle and now he committed suicide
Hi everyone
I’m a 48 yr old woman, who has gotten through life ok. I have two lovely boys, a good job and nice house. I’ve realised for a long time that my unhappy childhood and various traumas effected my self esteem and self worth. I have been a heavy weekend drinker (alcoholic) for the last ten years. I’m not sure when it started but I sunk into a depression for the last year (to friends and colleagues I appear fine and happy go lucky). Two weeks ago whilst drunk I Facebook messaged my cousin who I haven’t spoken to in 20 years to tell him his father tried to molest me. This event when I was a child effectively ended my family’s relationship - my father and uncle didn’t talk for 37 years. After I posted my cousin, two days later my uncle turned up on my doorstep (he had travelled 1000km). We talked, I forgave him, he and my father (who lives with me) reconciled, hugged etc. I told my uncle that we all needed to move forward and he needed to be the best father for his boys. He stayed for two days but no matter how much I told him we all needed to move forward, he talked about suicide and would say he ruined everyone’s lives. Yesterday we found out he died by suicide. I feel beyond awful and feel like I’m falling apart. I feel as though what I did played a role in his death and now unbelievable trauma for my cousins.
I guess I needed to unload this as I feel I caused a husband and father to end his life. We are all complicated beings and I’m gutted. I truely forgave him and wanted us to all move forward. I will be talking to a therapist (first time in my life) and I encourage everyone to find that person you can talk to, keeping things inside, trying to be brave or keeping secrets is not healthy.
Thank you for reading my post, just sharing this is helping me to process everything.
