Escalating odd experiences

Hello. I’ve similar experiences to you— the strange/paranoid thoughts that I know is absurd but can’t quite shake; everything appearing dream-like or distorted and all that good stuff.

Turns out I’m at very high risk for psychosis. “Sub-threshold” (experiencing symptoms but not intense enough to be diagnosed) psychosis was what I was experiencing, according to my psychologist and psychiatrist.

Of course, I’m not a professional and these experiences you’ve had could be caused by something else, but it’s something worth checking out. Psychosis is something that’s better treated earlier on as and will worsen the longer it’s left untreated.

Hi @Adelheid ...gosh, you're a good writer! The "ripple in the rocks" - powerful.

I'm wondering if you have any professional support, like a psychologist?

Hi and welcome, @Chickenmancer ! It's good to have you here. 🙂

@Chickenmancer thank you for that, it really resonated and it's nice to know I'm not alone, it's a pretty isolating feeling!

I hope you're doing better now ❤️

Do you mind me asking what action was taken once it was identified?

Hi @NatureLover!

Thank you! I'm very flattered.

I see a psychologist fortnightly and last session I told her about (most of) what's been going on. She asked some follow-up questions but I ended up downplaying/lying about some parts because she looked concerned and it freaked me out.

She did say that I was describing psychosis-like experiences with ideas of reference specifically. We talked through the feelings I get and then the session ended and I'm not sure where to now?

It was definitely helpful, I am feeling better about it after talking to her. But this doesn't feel like something that can be properly addressed with an hour of psychotherapy once a fortnight. This might sound bitchy but I am worried that she's in over her head with this. I also get the feeling that she's pretty anti-psychiatry from some things that she's said in the past.

I think I need to seek additional help, but I'm not sure how/where. I've used my one Medicare provided psychiatrist session for the year on an ADHD assessment so I don't know what the go is with that. I don't want to go to my regular GP with this because I've been seeing them for ages and I feel weird about it. I don't want to see a new GP because I won't trust them. I was hoping my psych would point me in the right direction but here we are! I'm over 25 so headspace is out. I'm thinking it might be worth heading to a walk-in mental health service but it's not really an "emergency"?

I've been able to calm myself down since writing this. I'm going to address my concerns directly with my psychologist in my next appointment and book an appointment with my GP to discuss further options.

These feel like the right things to do now that I'm freaking out a little less (I'm still pretty freaked out though). I think I was just scared and deciding how things would play out before actually trying to do any of them. I also just want an immediate fix/explanation/certainty on what's going on, and I know that that's impossible.

I just really hate feeling like this, but I'll get there.

Hey there @Adelheid, thank you for sharing your story with us ❤️

I'm really glad you've been able to find some calm. Was there anything in particular you did that you repeat if this happens again?

I think it's completely understandable that you were scared! It sounds like it was a really confronting experience. It's understandable that you want some answers now. What kind of info are you looking for? Some others with similar experiences or is there something else?

It does sound like a great idea to reach out to your existing supports, like your GP and Psych.

If you're ever concerned about your own safety, you could call your states Mental Health Triage Line and they could help answer some questions for you maybe?

Sitting with you,
TuxedoCat

Hi @Adelheid

Just wanted to let you know that I can really relate to the sensory/perceptual experiences you're having, as I also get similar things. It scares me and I struggle with it.

I am also aware of people who have experienced these things, but it doesn't cause distress - it de-escalates - so they've steered clear of being diagnosed or assessed by psychiatry, as they haven't felt it a necessary step to take.

I also hear you about psychologists being ill-equipped and not being comfortable with clients who experience these things and don't know how to handle/address it. This is a huge problem for me, personally, at the moment. And psychiatry and psychology being at odds with each other, at times, is really challenging. Sometimes I feel like non-service users just assume we have these harmonious "treatment teams" that are all on the same page and refer on and communicate to each other really well. Haha, no.

I wish I had more of a solution for you, but all I can offer is the reassurance that you are not alone, and I know from experience, this is a really isolating and lonely experience to have. I recently watched this documentary on you tube which helped me feel less alone https://youtu.be/KcZ_F1eua-I

It might be helpful to get a psychiatrists opinion - who knows? you might be one of the lucky ones who just has a low dose of meds for a short term and the symptoms dissipate? If thats a step you want to take, I would just read them what you wrote, its so eloquent!

I know these appointments are really hard to access at the moment, but I've known some people who have had success with tele-health options for an Item 291. Have you already accessed this one? I'm aware that psychiatrists assessing ADHD are in high demand at the moment, but perhaps a referral for potential early psychosis intervention will be handled differently? Going the telehealth/video conferencing route opens up the selection of practitioners. All psychiatrists practice differently - I am aware of ones that aim to treat holistically using the lowest possible dosage and are concerned about use of high dosage medications that cause harm/disfunction. You can read their bios/profiles and seek out this flavour of clinician that would be helpful.

Example: https://www.madinamerica.com/2019/12/the-matrix-disentangling-anti-psychiatry/

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@Adelheid wrote:

I'm going to address my concerns directly with my psychologist in my next appointment and book an appointment with my GP to discuss further options.

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@Adelheid I think this is a great idea.

I know psychologists have resources they can look up if they're not sure how to treat someone...I know my psychologist had to do some study behind the scenes on how to treat my Hoarding Disorder, she was quite happy to admit that, and I gave her the name of a valuable book on Hoarding Disorder which she went and bought. But we've had good success with it since then. No psychologist can be an expert in everything...just as no graduate of any field of study can be, engineering or medicine or whatever. But their training teaches them what resources are out there for further study.

Good luck next fortnight with your psychologist appt...I'm glad you have this support fortnightly, it seems rare. And good luck also with your GP appt...

Sorry for the late reply.

I went to the General Practitioner (GP) to discuss it, and from there on I got referred from to support services for psychosis.

I was hesitant at first to talk to the GP for similar reasons as you-- I didn't exactly trust them. It's pretty important to do that as they're usually harbouring a lot of services that they could refer you to.

If you don't like your psychologist, I think it's pretty important you switch to a new one even if it takes a long time. It's better to talk to someone that you think that could understand you or someone that you "click" with than wasting your time with someone you feel does not have the approach that would help you. Of course, if you're primarily concerned with the anti-psychiatry stance, clear things up with her rather than assuming.

If you want some resource/services for psychosis, I'm not adverse to listing some, if you like.