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Something’s not right

Struggling: TW suicide

Struggling: TW suicide

I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.

1711 replies

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In response to: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

I am glad they have click and collect option for the people that need it. Fish, veggies and curries are good basics. Yeah, pretty much the normal things like masks, moisturiser, face scrub, serums and oils. Then I'll tell myself that it's okay because it not my fault my skin is dry 😛

In response to: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Hey @creative_writer, I am about to log off. Just wanted to check in with you before I did. xx

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Former-Member I think I’ll be okay for tonight, going to bed. Goodnight xx

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

I've had a really crappy start to the day. I had to contact a helpline which helped a bit but still feel suicidal. Flashbacks are torture. I may be able to keep myself safe for now but for how long? I don't want to go to the hospital and I don't feel like talking to anyone at home. I'm just trying to find reasons for why I should stay but feeling really hopeless, insignificant and lost. I know my aim is to go into mental health and help people and I have strong connections to my spiritual beliefs but I feel so worthless.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Hey @creative_writer

Sorry to hear you have not had a nice start to your day. It was incredibly brave to reach out to a helpline, especially when you don't feel like talking much right now.

It can feel impossible to think of all the reasons for living when those thoughts are so overpowering. Sometimes when it is hard to think of reasons for ourself, keeping safe so that in the future you can help others with your own story and experience can be a powerful motivation to keep safe for now.

We all really care for you here and are sitting with you 💛 Of course, reaching out to a helpline again is another good option too.

Take extra special care of yourself today 💛

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Peregrinefalcon it's really hard to be okay when you're re-experiencing the past over and over again. I don't even know how I've made it safely this morning so far.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

You're absolutely right, flashbacks are no joke. The fact that you have kept yourself safe with this going on is a testament to your strength.

Sometimes I have had to just repeat to myself "I am safe" over again to ground myself.

I hope that those intense feelings can ease for you today @creative_writer 💛

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Peregrinefalcon the urges are still there and strong but I’ve talked it through with another helpline and the means is no longer in my room. Maybe I should touch base on Monday about this weekend with one of my supports. I’ve finished my conclusion for my assignment but my mind just wasn’t able to go to proofreading stage of assignment. I still have until Monday to proofread it ❤️.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

It's so scary thinking about what could have happened to me if my sister and mum didn't come to the kitchen when they did. I'm safe right now though. Nobody noticed what was I thinking of doing to myself and was able to hide it. I didn't want to talk to anyone because they would have tried to talk me out of it. I still feel the body flashback, I don't want to have to feel this again. I am also afraid of the past repeating itself. It's hard to let go of this hypervigilance because I am scared if I let it go, I would leave myself vulnerable.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Reached out to a helpline. Not that it wasn’t helpful. Why do I still want to do what I want to do? I really don’t want to go to ED either it’s too stressful being at the hospital. I’m safe for now, but for how long?
541 - 550 of 1,711