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creative_writerSenior Contributor
I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.
In response to: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
It’s hard when dark thoughts creep up more strongly again. I feel like this loop was triggered by uni. Social work can be intense at times. Anytime anyone mentions SA I’m easily triggered. I can barely watch it on the news and it’s hard reading about it too. Im wondering if the vicarious trauma from the volunteer work I was doing earlier this year retraumatised me. I never really feel safe in myself or around people and feel like I’m going through this alone. Here I am, trying to think of the reasons why to keep living.
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
JynxModerator
Hey @creative_writer just checkin in. Yeah working in this field is so rough at times, I'm really sorry to hear that you've experienced vicarious trauma. And like sometimes it is the nature of traumatic experiences that we don't realise how much they've impacted us till months or years later - and then the processing takes time on top of that too.
I'm here with you, and wanna support you as best I can while you're struggling with SI tonight. Have you made a safety plan which lists your reasons for living that you can refer back to? I'm here to listen if you wanted to tell me some reasons you might have thought of.
Big hugs 💜
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
JynxModerator
@creative_writer Yeah it's weird actually how some things can be way more triggering than others, even when we might expect otherwise. As tough as it is that this has halted your ability to continue helping in the way you wish, I really hope this does lead to growth and healing for you, and maybe means you will be even better equipped to help others in the future. One of my friends really leans into the phrase, "I hope someday this pain will be useful to you," and I know it's been helpful for me to hear. I hope the same for you.
Spiritually is so, so important, and it is lovely to hear that it is something meaningful for you in your life. It's saved me, that's for sure. May your faith, whatever it may be, remain unwavering in the face of this adversity 🤞💜
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Struggling: TW suicide
Unknown userMember
@creative_writer I have been admitted to hospital and you know the funniest thing is not my concern for my back or mental health it's that my pup is at home and missing me.my daughter feeds here but she looks for me everytime the door opens.
Not sure how long I'm going to be in here either .the specialist is saying there is nothing he can do to repair lower back and it will continue to get worse but he can fix the upper back issues with more surgery.
Wondering now if I should get anything done at all as if they can't lower the pain in lower back I don't know how I will be able to live like that
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
BowSenior Contributor
Nothing wrong with needing comfort and safety @creative_writer
💕
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
BowSenior Contributor
Oh I for sure know the feeling @creative_writer !
it’s a whole different level and kind of loneliness when your surrounded by people yet feel so incredibly lonely.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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