Struggling: TW suicide

Hey @creative_writer,

I hope you don't mind me jumping in but I can relate to how you are feeling. My mother and I trigger each other a lot. My mother (as much as I love her) isn't very good at self soothing or handling anything to emotional so I avoid telling her to much so I don't upset her.

Having said that it's a two way street and my mum doesn't have the ability to support me in the way I wish she could. This use to bother me but I've started to realise this isn't my mum's fault as she wasn't raised to know how to do this. I guess at the end of the day you don't know what you not taught. I have empathy and understanding for you both around this.

Hugs,

FloatingFeather

@creative_writer it's so damn tough isn't it. I don't think there's anything wrong with craving protection and hugs. But yes when I was fragile with my mum and my relationship growing up I probably did crave protection more than other may have. So maybe once you safe (which we all deserve!) you may stop craving that protection as much as you do. I think we are all a work in progress. Even as we get older. I think you're doing great by continuing to reach out here and ask questions and seek support as well as offering it to others members.

💗

As much as I have kind of learnt to lean on myself over the years to feel safe @creative_writer that doesn't mean I still don't crave protective hugs sometimes - I think I always will in really tough times.

I think most people could really do with a hug when they are struggling.

Sending you a hug back ❤️

@hanami@FloatingFeatherI have a lot to work on to develop new healthy relationships. I just haven’t been able to do relationships lately because I feel so detached. My psych thinks I may even be disassociating in social situations. Brain seems to think it’s not wise to trust people. I literally get hugs all the time yet feel so touched deprived, but never do I truly feel protected or satisfied after hugs, I could explore this during my next psych appointment or counsellor session tom too.

💗

@creative_writer @FloatingFeather @hanami

I have issues with my mum too. She lives with me and my family and triggers me easily. She is very much self centered and everything has to revolve around her. She is very good at the water works in order to gain sympathy from others. My MI affects her a lot even though I tell her the bare minimum.

Enough about me. I hope all of your days are going well

Oh @Snowie I'm sorry you have to deal with it too!

It really suck doesn't it. I shudder at the thought of having to live with my mum again. I love her visits and love visiting her BUT living with her would be a next level challenge and could take me right back to my childhood. On the plus side I think there are a lot of us who struggle with our mothers and can relate to each other! I have found it helps so much to offload it. My husband cops it a bit from me about my mum. He totally gets it lol. My poor old dad is just adorable and we often have little chats about my mum. Him and I have both copped it a lot over the years. On the other hand my brother (I call him the golden haired child) can do no wrong even when he's awful to her! Ah the joys lol.

❤️

@hanami it is hard. I don't have contact with my brother and my mum puts a lot of the blame onto me. She says I have torn her family apart. My Dad died over 7 years ago and she still has not come to terms with it. I don't think she ever will.

She did see a psychologist ONCE, but said the cannot help her and don't understand. I tried telling her that she needs to give it time but thinks psych's and pdoc's are just out to get your money. Also thinks that the meds I take make me worse. Very much anti mental health.

I am lucky that she lives in her own unit on our land, so I don't have to see her everyday. Makes it a bit easier.

My mum is a bit like that re mental health - you don't need meds or therapy according to her, you need to exercise and eat well and change your attitude. Ergh. Needless to say I do not agree with that!

❤️