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Something’s not right

Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor02 Aug 2022, 3:29 pm AEST

Struggling: TW suicide

I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.

1711 replies

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In response to: Struggling: TW suicide

SnowieSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 4:13 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

That must be a hard conversation to have @creative_writer I struggle talking to my hubby and asking for more meds. It means I have to explain to him why I need more meds.

Can you just tell her that your moods are up and down a bit at the moment and that your doctor suggested that you increase your meds.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 4:50 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie when I suggested talking to the hospital my parents were like you know they could force treatment on you. But I don’t think I qualify for a treatment order. I just wanted to sort my meds by someone so I wouldn’t feel so suicidal. It didn’t really help and just made things escalate more. Including me running into my room with whatever I was thinking over using. I’m safe now though, sort of wish I wasn’t.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

SnowieSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 5:33 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer I am glad you are safe.

It takes a lot of effort to ask for that extra help. I know I hate asking hubby for extra meds.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 5:46 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie I just had a major disagreement with parents. They don’t like me contacting the hospital, it makes them stressed. I could talk to a GP but I don’t know if GP would adjust my meds. I feel so hopeless, what do I do. I can’t wait for a psychiatrist.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Eve7Senior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 5:51 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Hey @creative_writer it is sounding really rough for you today.

I’m pretty sure a GP could adjust your meds if necessary. Do you have one you could ask?

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 6:07 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Eve7 I have an appointment with GP on Tuesday since I need to get my stomach checked out and ask about antacids interactions with my meds that I already take. He is a senior GP so maybe would be more willing to adjust. My regular GP wouldn’t touch it, I think things have been a bit rough with my regular GP too because he has changed and is on autopilot mode. I guess meanwhile I could use PRN when needed.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

SnowieSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 6:38 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Hi @creative_writer

I think speaking to the gp on Tuesday sounds like a great idea. They should be able to change your meds for you. I know what it is like to rely just on prn's.

Psychiatrists are hard to get into, at least the good ones are. The wait is too long.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 7:22 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie I’ll give it a try. I also recently found out I need to be careful with antacids and my prescription meds. I stopped the antacids for now just in case it was contributing to instability. I did start feeling worse after taking it, I’ll just wait for the doc appointment on Tuesday. My behaviour has been a little strange lately too, I can be thrown off the edge so easily and next thing, I become a risk to my own life. I can’t control it, it just happens. I wasn’t like this before. I feel like My world is upside and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I lose control over my emotions. I know it’s not mature behaviour but I don’t know what to do if I get triggered.

Today my parents anxiety can triggered my own. They are afraid the system would be abusive and fail me through treatment orders. It triggers my fear of being controlled and abused. I’ve been mistreated during my life so many times, I don’t want to take any other pain caused by other toxic people. It seems easier to not let people in. It made me feel hopeless and lost. It’s like I’m not supposed to ask for professional help. But where does that leave me? Feeling hopeless, with no direction.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

SnowieSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 7:28 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer you have every right to get professional help. You deserve the help too. We all do.

I find it easy to get triggered too. And we all can get triggered by so many different things or different people. One day it isn't a trigger and then the next day it can be.

Please be kind to yourself. You need to remember you are doing the very best you can and that is all you can ask of yourself.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

SnowieSenior Contributor01 Jan 2023, 7:37 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer

going to try and go to sleep. Don't think i should stay awake.

I hope you get some sleep tonight.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.