Convincing someone to get help

Hi @Milicent Welcome to the forums. I hope you will find some support here.

It must be so hard seeing someone you love reject the help they need. It's so hard to make someone get help if they don't want to do it for themselves.

I'm going to pop this thread here as there may be something of use.

What sort of supports do you have for yourself?

I'll tag some of our members for you and hopefully they can offer some words of wisdom 💝

@Anastasia @Shaz51 @maddison @Snowie @NatureLover @outlander @BPDSurvivor

Hi @Milicent and welcome to the Sane forums.

I am sorry to hear all that you are going through with your son. It sounds like you have done so much for him in the past and continue to try and support him now.

Does he see a psychologist or psychiatrist at all?

I don't really have any suggestions for you but hope others have. It must be hard going through this day in day out. Do you have anyone to support you?

Hello and hugs @Milicent

Has you son have a mental health team that he sees ??

Is there anyone that your son listen too or close too ??

My husband was on just antidepressants for years and he reacon they weren't working so he would stop taking them and turning to drink which lend him ending up in hospital where they changed his antidepressants and also adding a anti anxiety medication

My husband still has his ups and downs every day and only drinks 2 glasses of alcohol a day, has cancelled his health care team and sometimes stops taking his medication

I put suggestions his way , like saying little things and let him thing about it

@Milicent

There are some great Sane resources--- fact sheets and guides to read too

@Paperdaisy , @moderator

Hey @Shaz51 Thank you! Yes, here you go @Milicent please click here to find them 😊

Hi @Milicent

I'm so glad you reached out. I have been in similar place to you and it feels hopeless and desperate.

I'll try to list a few things that have helped me.

I started part of my journey with this book

I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help! How to Help Someone with Mental Illness Accept Treatment

Book by Xavier Amador

It's a bit old fashioned, however I found it useful in the way it explains the importance of being an ally. My situation did not change, however, I did get peace of mind & reassurance.

When you say that your son has periods of being very unwell, I'm wondering how long these last? Have you considered calling triage/CAT/ITT during these times to have him assessed? Could this possible lead to him being able to be linked in with a community mental health team?

I assume he has been on a CTO & stopped his meds when it ended. This is very common in my experiencing, & heartbreaking. Don't give up hope. I believe behaviours can change. He probably realises, on some level, that he is actually self medicating with the alcohol. It is very sad, as the alcohol changes people's personalities, & is probably clouding his insight further. I can understand why you say, you can no longer help him.

These forums have also helped me incredibly. I feel so much less isolated by connecting with other carers & also other members who are struggling or have lived experience of mental illness. It can help me gain perspective and insight into my own situation.

Reaching out, & educating myself has helped

me feel empowered & impacted my own Mental health in a positive way. I am learning that I cannot force another person to behave in a responsible & mentally healthy way. It's ok to let go. To me, it's different than giving up. The goal is to arm myself with as many resources as possible, engage professional support & make myself strong, so that I can be strong if they ever decide they need me.