Suzys164 and I'm new here.

Welcome to the SANE forums, @Suzy164, my name is Rhye and I'm one of the Peer Support Workers here at SANE. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with your son and his mental health at the moment.

We actually have two forums here at SANE: one for people with a lived experience, and one for family, friends and carers. I suspect your post might be best suited for the Friends, Family and Carers forum, I'd be happy to move your post over there if you like?

In the meantime, I'm wondering whether you have any professional support in place for yourself? It can be incredibly difficult to navigate complex mental health as a loved one/carer. I also wanted to point you to the SANE drop-in counselling service, which is free and anonymous for anyone with a lived experience of mental health, as well as their friends and family. The service is open 10am-10pm Mon-Fri and the number is: 1800 187 263.

If you need a hand with navigating the forums you can always tag a moderator, like this @moderator.

Tagging a few of our Community Guides and members who may share a similar experience or can relate: @Krishna @Shaz51 @maddison @pinklollipop15 @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom

Take care,
Rhye

@RYHE yes please do move my post . I thought I posted in the right page.

Hi @Suzy164,

Welcome to the forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It's really brave of you to reach out and share your feelings and experience. Please know you are in a safe space with many supportive people. A lot of our members have a variety of lived experience and wisdom to offer.

What you are going through must be very challenging for yourself, your son and your family. I think reaching out is a great first step. If I'm honest I don't have much knowledge with schizophrenic disorders but I do have a close family member with another serious mental health disorder (my family member was diagnosed more than 20 years ago). When my family first began showing symptoms my family had no know clue what was going on and it was a very frightening and confusing time for all of us. Over time (and with much support from professionals) my family member was eventually given the right dose and medication for his disorder and he is doing a lot better now and is doing really well (most of the time) managing his disorder.

Please know there is hope, support and with time I'm sure (like my family member) your son's professional team will find the best way to help support him. I would also really encourage you to get some support as being a support person can be a lonely and confusing place to be. Do you have a GP that you can speak to? GPs' are often a good starting point if you are looking to talk to someone outside your family/friends.

This is a link to our carers and support page https://www.sane.org/spotlight-on/families-carers. Also, at the bottom of our forum page is links to various topics that may interest you.

I wish you, your son and your family all the best. I look forward to reading the wise advice our forums members have to offer.

Best wishes,

Floating Feather

Welcome @Suzy164 ! So glad you found us here. I'm also a peer worker here. You'll find lots of care and support here that is one thing you can be sure of.

I have worked in community mental health with people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. They were mostly older and very well managed their symptoms with medication. There is always hope, despite there feeling like days where you just want to give up. It must be so hard to watch your son experience these symptoms. We just want a good life for our children and when things don't work out as we think, it's very challenging.

Looking forward to seeing you around here

Warm hugs

Hanami 💮

Hello and welcome @Suzy164

How is your day going today

I have tagged @Bunniekins for you xx

@Shaz51 . My day has gotten better. Thank you

That is good to hear @Suzy164

Here if you want to talk xx

Hi and welcome to the forums @Suzy164.

I don’t have experience in this area, but I do know that the forums are a warm and caring place, and there are others here who are experienced in the sort of issues you are having to size up to with your son.

Please remember to take care of you. As a carer, which I do have extensive experience with, it can be all to easy to give all your time and attention to others and go a little too lightly with your own self-care. It is more important than we realise, but carer burn-out is a real thing.

🌷 F&H

What @Faith-and-Hope said is soo true @Suzy164

We can not care for others if we don't care for ourselves

What hobbies do you like doing

I have had carers burnout xx

Welcome to the forum @Suzy164 Glad you ahve met @Shaz51 and @Faith-and-Hope and the others ...

If you are living with your son, it will probably be important to give yourself space and check in with him in a way that suits you both, but also lets you get on with your own life rather than be in fulltime worry about it all.

Eg. I check in once every 24 hours sometimes there is only the smallest interaction, a hand wave, or a Good morning, or something, other times there is more when he is open. But I have told him that at least once a day he has to "relate properly". It may not suit your circs. You may need to set limits on him waking you at night ... I asked my son not to play my piano ... and wake me up ... he can do what he needs at "his end of the house". Anyway they are a few tips that made a difference for us. We are in negotiation about eating together. We used to eat a meal everyday together but atm he is wanting to be more independent, which is fine by me, as I have different food needs to him ... eg watching cholestrol...

Taking care of you is very important as the others said.

Cheers Apple