Everything just feels so hard...

Hi @lonelypriority,

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, some people just don't seem to know how to show understanding and it can feel invalidating and frustrating, especially when the empathy and validation is being sought from an important attachment figure.

I can certainly relate to this and am confident others on the forum can too, so you are not alone. I hope you feel some sense of comfort in knowing that.

Hello @lonelypriority. I'm sorry to hear of the difficulty you have with your mother's lack of support. Mine was similar–problems were negated, probably because she didn't like to make waves, or didn't know how to help.

Your landlord sounds like he's trying to see how much he can get away with. I had one like that once, too.

I don't have any advice for you, @lonelypriority. I can only say I am sorry you are being traumatized by your current experiences. I hope things get better soon.

Sending best wishes. I hope today is better for you.😊

Hi and welcome, @lonelypriority , it's good to have you here.

I'm sorry your mum is invalidating you and you have landlord problems 😞

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@lonelypriority wrote:

I feel so overwhelmed by everything at the moment and this, along with the stress caused by my landlord yesterday, was just not what I needed. I don't know how people just keep going and pushing on, because everything just feels awful at the moment. I feel so lonely, so overwhelmed and like I just have so little support in this world. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this 😞

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Can I ask if you have any professional support? Like a counsellor or psychologist? It can be very validating having someone listen and offer strategies to cope...

In any case, we are here to listen and offer peer support.

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply to them.

Hi there @lonelypriority

It's really hard when parents just want to talk over the top of us or they don't understand. It can be really frustrating, when people don't know how to support you. I understand that a lot. But I think it can be really hard for other people to know how to support us too. I try to gave grace for my parents, and not be too hard on them, they themselves are only human with their own traumas too. My mum and dad both have some lacking social skills, so they can respond to my distress in a way that is unhelpful, and sometimes I get mad at them for it. But I try to remember that's unfair, and they're doing their best.

Practising gratitude and forgiveness is a really beneficial act for uniting and healing families.

I really hope things improve soon ❤ Try to take some deep breaths ❤

Christheart

@NatureLover Yes, I luckily have a good psychologist and I will be seeing her in the next couple of weeks. I was just feeling particularly stressed and overwhelmed last night and just felt like I had absolutely no one to talk to about. I am feeling a bit better after seeing some of these caring responses here. It makes me feel better at least knowing that people on some level understand and care, so I'm glad I came here.

@lonelypriority Am delighted to hear you have a good psychologist 🙂

Also that the forums did their job for you when needed. 🙂

Hi @lonelypriority,

Welcome to the forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. Thank you for sharing your story and your feelings with us. I know it's not always easy to share things that can be so vulnerable but please know that you are in a safe space with many kind and supportive members with a range of lived experience.

I'm sorry to read how you are feeling. It's sounds like a really challenging and difficult place to be. I've learnt over the years that not all mothers (or fathers) are what we wish they should be. I think that can be such a letdown for a lot of people, especially when we get older and reflect on our childhood and see / think how different it could have been (or how we wished it had been).

I get what you mean about having a mother that does not listen (hear you), validates your feelings, cuts you off, interjects - it can so so depleting to our sense of self. I think there is a big difference between listening and hearing - not being heard, especially when we are talking about something emotional or important can be very invalidating.

Someone in my life sounds very similar to your mum - the way I have coped is to drop my expectations (which is disappointing and hard) but it also means I'm less open to being hurt because I don't expect much anymore.

I'm really sorry to read about your friend's passing, that must of been such a hard time for you. I'm guessing all you really wanted from your mum is to just sit with you, support you and hold the space for you. I'm sorry she didn't - perhaps she couldn't? Perhaps it was triggering for her or she was overwhelmed by what had happened and didn't know what to say so she changed the subject? Either way I get that her response wasn't helpful to you.

I really do hope these difficult and overwhelming feelings pass for you really soon and things with your landlord are okay. Please don't feel alone, I'm sure a lot of people can understand where you are coming from and how you are feeling. If you do feel like you would like some extra support the SANE Support Centre is available to support you from 10am-10pm Monday to Friday. We have counsellors and peer support workers available to support you via phone (1800 18 7263) or webchat.

Please take care of yourself.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather