What to do if therapy doesn't work?

@Appleblossomposted a video on a thread, with a nice Euro man explaining what the process is to be from a more wholistic team perspective. I found it helpful.

I think people are realizing that it's rarely so simple as one person fixing another person. More of a joint recovery journey where everyone plays their part in the making of it all. That's what best "systemic practice" means to me right now.

Hi @Horza

Yes, I have gotten out of a situation even though initially no one could help me.

How? I kept looking and persisted.

Voila! I’m alive and kicking and absolutely love life.

Was mindfulness the solution? No.

Was medication the solution? No (but it aided recovery)

Did my way of thinking change? Yes - after about 3 years in therapy.

@Horza

My life started with a heavy psychiatrist focus, and then about half way, having established some security I shifted to psychologists. Hearing you about the limits of both psychologists and psychiatrist. Best bet seems to take it into your own hands and do your research. The problem is we cannot research what it feels like to have an effective and therapeutic relationship. I am thinking, these days, if the therapy does not work, it has more to do with the therapist than the client, even though with low self esteem we may fall into thinking that we are somehow strangely beyond help Spent a lot of time at the zoo with animals and talking to researchers etc. I see it all somewhat related to social and economic injustice and distribution of resources, personal and material.

Take Care and hope the forum can help

Apple

Hi @Horza ! Welcome to the forums! 😀

I was stuck in a terrible therapy situation for years. No help forthcoming, whatsoever. I only managed to get out of it when my therapist pronounced me "cured" - based upon the fact that she was pleased with my financial situation; which was odd, because I never spoke about my financial situation in therapy. But I didn't care, I was just glad to finally be free of her.

I also know what it's like to go through having harmful medication dealt out at you, as a supposed remedy for real-life problems. In my case, all that happened was that I got fatter (which was nonetheless a setback); I know many people have far worse ordeals with meds, so I hesitate to complain. It still mystifies me how people expect a pill to magically remedy a real-life problem.

I don't know much about dealing with trauma, myself. I believe the Blue Knot Foundation helps people with this?

https://blueknot.org.au/

Perhaps you might want to check this out, and maybe get in contact with them if they sound like they can help you?

Hi @Horza,

Thank you for sharing your story and experience here with us in the forums. It genuinely takes courage to come to the point where you're able to share and to ask the questions you have here. This demonstrates you are prioritising your recovery and willingness to reflect on what is and isn't working for you. As someone who has walked that path, I really commend you for that.

To answer your questions, I experienced complex trauma and I too tried a number of psychologists looking for help. The turning point for me was finding an excellent psychiatrist who offered psychotherapy. In these sessions, it wasn't about identifying irrational beliefs and challenging them, it required me to tune in to the feelings that arise when confronted with the thoughts. That was the key ingredient for me in my recovery. It wasn't an active restructuring of thoughts, it was an active acceptance and reintegration of my feelings. As a by-product the "irrational" thoughts fell away so that yes I managed to walk closer toward the end of my recovery path (if there is every a true "end"?).

I think it's a matter of asking the questions, as you have here today, and chatting with your clinical supports about finding a modality that suits your needs. In the meantime, we'll all be here to support you along the way 💙

How are you going @Horza ?

Not great. Had another ride of the "merry go round", I'm not sure if you know what I mean: you realise you're in a bad place, so you reach out, and you get "chain referred" by people who only care if you are in crisis bad enough you are a risk to yourself or others (I'm not), until the last person just tells you to use google to try and find support, and then you have to spend all morning making phone calls and emails just to be told that the books are full, and that you should... try ringing the very same "help"lines that told you to just use google in the first place, and the entire process just makes you call in sick and not go to work because you are just so exhausted. If one more person suggests ringing (any of the major mental health-related hotlines) I'm going to scream.

From experience, I think anyone who tells you to contact any helpline whatsoever hasn't actually experienced how bad those helplines actually are: they're incredibly bad at mental health triage (you always feel completely unlistened to, they read off a script that just makes you feel ignored and patronised), and the only referrals they can make are to other just-as-useless helplines, or tell you to use google?

Are you at immediate risk to yourself or others? No? Don't care, bye sweety! But as far as I see it, if people are helped before they are a threat to themselves (or others?) then that's actually a better place to help people? I don't understand the logic of just telling someone to use google if they ring up and say they need help... what use are you, if that's all you can do?

I feel extremely frustrated: "here are my problems. I need support finding support specific for my problems" might sound really simple, but it's apparently very complicated!

So true @Horza - prevention is better than cure, right?

Have you heard of SANE's guided service? Here's more information if you are interested. It consists of about 12-weeks (12 phone contacts with a peer support worker/counsellor). The beauty of it is that the people you are linked to are consistent which means you do not have to repeat your story each time.

It's a free service, but only catch is, only people living in certain areas can access the service (for now).

I'd encourage you to have a look to see if you are eligible. In the meantime, you I hope you can connect with other supports too.

Here's the link: https://www.sane.org/referral

I know your thread says 'What to do if therapy doesn't work?' however, I've noticed that it depends on who is facilitating the therapy, who is involved in the therapy, the structure of the therapy, one's readiness for therapy etc. There are so many factors that come into play.

Sometimes, it's not about how well trained a professional is, but rather, how effective the 'link' is between individual and professional.

Have you ever immediately 'clicked' with someone, then other times, immediately not clicked with someone? Just happens, I guess.

I hear you @Horza . And hope you will find space for gentleness for yourself.

tyme

"Have you heard of SANE's guided service?"

I'm outside of the service regions.

"I know your thread says 'What to do if therapy doesn't work?' however, I've noticed that it depends on who is facilitating the therapy, who is involved in the therapy, the structure of the therapy, one's readiness for therapy etc. There are so many factors that come into play. "

The last two psychologists I have spoken with have told me I'm untreatable through the kind of therapy approaches they are trained in, specifically CBT, because it makes specific assumptions about people (ie if you're not someone who can be manipulated into having a more positive outlook, and you have serious trauma related problems that make it difficult for you to have life goals and aims, this approach is not something that should or could be used). So the level and kind of training is incredibly important: everyone effectively has a "tool kit" for talking to clients, but everyone has the same toolkit and it's actually not a very effective one, it's just the one that was cheapest and most easily available. It's a bit like having a dodgy hammer from the two dollar shop: everything looks like a nail when it's the only tool available, but even then it isn't that great. Whether or not you "click" with someone isn't as important as if they actually have more than that dodgy hammer in their tool belt, and a significant amount of people simply don't. If you don't "click" with someone, then at least if they have other tools they can suggest where you can find someone else who knows how to use those other tools?

"In the meantime, you I hope you can connect with other supports too."

There's a significant issue (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this) that even locating supports, let alone accessing them, is an incredibly labyrinthine process. I have been looking for three years. I spent nearly six hours yesterday talking with people, chatting with people on mental heath hotline chats, and all they can do is refer me to each other. I am asking where do I go? Who do I speak with? I spent most of the last several years trapped in a cycle of waiting months to see someone, realising immediately they have zero idea whatsoever about how to appropriately address trauma, then waiting months more to see someone else, all the time while my mental state degrades. I just want to know where I can go for help that isn't "go to this other place" or "just try breathing exercises!" because that's basically all anyone has said in years now and I cannot do this anymore.