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Life Changes and Grief and Loss

Rosie7174Contributor27 June 2022, 4:59 pm AEST

Life Changes and Grief and Loss

Lately I've been so overwhelmed and feel like I'm at my limit now.

Last year my mum died, she had had health problems before but it was unexpected. Prior to that she had been subjected to elder abuse by one of my siblings and my whole life the last couple of years was trying to help her. She had lived with me on and off for awhile before her death. My sibling was living in her house before and since her death for free (until the house is sold). He never paid any rent, utilities, not even his for his food before our mother died.

He is a chronic ice user, selling drugs from the property, violent and has an extreme attitude of self entitlement. Since our mother's death he has remained in her house, renting out rooms and continuing to sell drugs and use drugs.

Our mother's estate is ready to be sold and today he is supposed to vacate the house. I just know he won't and it will come down to the executor having to get a court order to remove him from the property as there are 3 of us and the house has to be sold so that debts can be paid and the remainder split between us 3. My brother believes that because he was living in the house it should belong to him. The law says otherwise.

My other sibling isn't of much help, he is currently in a mental health unit in a psychiatric hospital due to depression.

He was coming to live with me and my partner after leaving hospital until he relapsed and ended up back in hospital last week.

As for myself, I'm 50, I have a loving partner and we have 2 kids.

My life seems to have become a Trainwreck.

I've been in and out of hospital with my own health recently, some very worrying times.

Last week I had to euthanize my darling little dog unexpectedly, she had been my faithful little companion at my side and following me everywhere for years and now I'm just completely devastated without her. She was my faithful girl at my side when my mum died.

My go to person in the hard times of my life was my mum. She couldn't always fix my worries, but just talking to her made me feel so much better. I never felt alone.

I don't really have any friends, just people Ive known for awhile but don't meet with.

My partner's side of the family are not the supportive kind either, so there's no hope there. My family are not there with the support either.

I don't know how to keep soldiering on anymore. I really feel like I've reached my limit and can't take any more heartbreak.

The things I love the most have been taken from me, I have no support from friends or family and no one to "talk to" anymore. I miss that so much. So so much.

I rang Lifeline today and they said how I was feeling was natural but didn't suggest any solutions.

So I rang for an appt with my GP but have to wait 2 Weeks.

How do I keep myself sane?

I worry about my future too.

I can't stand "living in the moment".

I just feel so sad and heartbroken and don't know what to do.

13 replies

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In response to: Life Changes and Grief and Loss

tymeModerator29 June 2022, 5:55 pm AEST

Re: Life Changes and Grief and Loss

Dear @Rosie7174 ,

Thank you for sharing how things are for you at the moment. You have been so courageous in stepping out and reaching for support - because you deserve it.

I am happy to hear that your brother is out of hospital. He hope he is also receiving the support he needs at this time.

Give yourself time to heal. Grief is not a process that completes its cycle in a day or two. Allow yourself to experience grief. This is only natural and healthy. And at the same time, be gentle which yourself.

There is so much happening for you, that reaching out to Griefline or other counselling lines may help you a lot. They are trained in this area and may be able to offer other insights into your current situation.

Please know that the SANE community is behind you and walking with you. You do not have to feel alone in this.

Also, a quick note. If you'd like to tag members into your posts, please type "@" in front of their name. This means they will receive a notification of your replies.

My thoughts are with you,

tyme

Hi @Christheart @Appleblossom @FloatingFeather @NatureLover - @Rosie7174 has responded to your amazing posts of support. Please see the above posts.

In response to: Re: Life Changes and Grief and Loss

tymeModerator30 June 2022, 2:58 pm AEST

Re: Life Changes and Grief and Loss

How are you going today @Rosie7174 ? I thought i'd check in and say hello 🙂

tyme

In response to: Re: Life Changes and Grief and Loss

Rosie7174Contributor01 July 2022, 8:59 pm AEST

Re: Life Changes and Grief and Loss

Hi Tyme,

Thank you for your thoughts.

I'm okay I guess. I'm just so sad, grief is such a god awful feeling.

I've been trying to do normal things to help me feel normal. There is comfort in familiarity for me I've found.

I've been reflecting I guess. I think of the times I got mad at my mum in the past, or the times I got annoyed with my dog because she peed on the floor. The guilt about these things has been getting to me a bit. I don't know why I started thinking of that, there were plenty of times of love also. My thoughts just want to torment me a bit.

Also, the other thing is the "missing" part.

To have someone in your life for so long and then the emptiness they leave in your life when they are gone is overwhelming to say the least. That's what I find myself struggling with the most at the moment.

Some good news though. The executor of my mum's estate is making progress with finalising it, so that's something.

But at the moment I guess I'm just enduring life right now, it's not something I'm celebrating. Just going through the motions..

Thank you for asking after me Tyme, I'm grateful to you.

I hope you are doing well.

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