I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

How are you tonight?

How are you feeling about tomorrow? As @creative_writer mentioned, feeling anxious about the unknown is normal @Captain24

I’m crying @tyme Im scared

Hey @Captain24 ,

You have every right to be scared and anxious.

But remember, this is only the first recovery program you have attended. There will be others so come. In the meantime, it's your chance to practice what you have gleaned from you stay this time.

You also have the community here.

Transitions are hard. The transition from hospital is similar to the transition to hospital. There are so many unknowns. So many 'What ifs"? Yet you are stronger than you've been in a long time.

Hold onto that and just keep going.

Hi @Captain24

Been thinking of you this morning.

I'm not sure what time you are being discharged but I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Please remember it is totally normal to have those mixed feelings.

Sending lots of love your way 💕💕

So I’m home..

Pixie was so excited to see me and she is still smiling. Jetts eyes nearly popped out of his head when I picked him up from the vets. It was awesome to see them and hold them.

When I walked into my house I was disgusted. They obviously had visitors as the bed in the spare room where I store all my Lego and diamond art has obviously been slept in. My house is a mess.

I have to change the sheets and doona cover on my bed as I don’t know if anyone has slept in it. I have to clean the ensuite as it looks like it’s been used. The laundry is disgusting. There is mould growing in the plug in the kitchen sick. There are sticky marks all over my stone bench top. The kitchen floor is filthy. I have to do a full clean before I’m comfortable enough with my living spaces to be able to sleep. I feel violated. I’ll leave the 2 other bedrooms until tomorrow. I was hoping for an early night as I’ve been wanting my own house and bed. But that’s not going to happen now.

Great welcome home, yes that’s sarcasm.

Oh no @Captain24 !

That's so so terrible.

Are they allowed to have visitors?

I'm so sorry you have come home to this. Sounds horrible.

Hugs. Home sweet (not) home.

I'm glad your babies are happy to see you.

Hi @Captain24

So glad you are home with your fur babies.

Sorry to hear about your house hon. That is simply not good enough.

I hope you are able to at least get some sleep tonight.

Sending lots of love to you 💕💕

Thanks @Snowie @tyme @creative_writer

I’ve done a lot of cleaning. I just have 2 bedrooms (it should have been just one!) and the main bathroom and toilet to go. I still need to wash the floors but I want to mow the lawn tomorrow so it can wait until then.

I need to have a shower cause I still feel dirty. I still feel violated. So much for a relaxing home coming. Now I have to deal with the anger and acknowledge what feelings are lying beneath it and work through each of them.

No @tyme the rule was no visitors.

Im sitting with my two babies now giving them both some love.

I went to see my hospital pdocs dog today and I ran into her. She gave me another big hug and said ‘look at you smiling!’ She said today that she didn’t think I would do very well considering the state that I was in when I arrived. But she said she is surprised and proud. She said it shows what can happen if you’re willing to try.

One of the nurses last night gave me a huge hug when see knocked off and said I was one of her fav’s. A night nurse hugged me too. I’ve never had so many hugs in my life as I’ve had in the last 3 weeks.