I can’t cope

It was med time so they were busy. @tyme. I used my new found skills and worked my way out of it!

We did work on defusion today! It was really hard as my negative thoughts are quite limited and I didn’t want to trigger myself any. I am not as worthless or as useless as I thought. I can be a nice person and I can be a good person. I didn’t want to undo any of it.

Woohoo! Another something to celebrate!

Remember we've been talking about defusion for ages now? I'm so glad you were able to practice it and learn more about it with others. It really helps consolidate the learning.

We are soooo proud of you @Captain24

Just keep doing what you are doing!

As soon as I saw the word I thought of you! @tyme

Yes! And it dates back all the way to the pink ice-cream van! That's ONE defusion technique 🙂

@Captain24

That's pretty awesome to hear. I'm lost for words. I've got tears in my eyes because you have grown so much.

I know you have another week or so. It's good to start planning your transition back home as it can be quite daunting. That's the next hurdle.

It's like as soon as you are comfortable and settled at the clinic, then it's time to go. I think that's why it needs more than one visit to get the real work done. The first few weeks are just to help settle you and gain trust.

Hi @Captain24 , I'm blown away reading your positive self thoughts and your use of strategies to get through distress 🙂

No wonder your pdoc is proud of you and you made her day!

We just had a mindfulness session and it was in a thought you want to change and how. I could do it! So proud.

Keep practicing @Captain24 ! That's the only way to be able to pull out the skill whenever you need it.

In the past, after learning the skill, I put it in my toolbox. But because I didn't practice it, when I needed it most, it wasn't effective. This changed when my therapist started practicing mindfulness with me every session. I hated it. I really did. But when I realised its effectiveness, I now find myself pulling it out of the hat regularly - even when I'm driving.

You should be proud of yourself @Captain24 You are achieving so much in a short amount of time.

We get out what we put in, and you certainly are putting in.

Sending lots of 💜💜

I’ve got so much written down. @tyme. I will need to go through it all to take to my psych. I don’t like mindfulness either but I am learning the benefits. I’ve caught myself doing it when I didn’t realise. Like now I’m sitting outside looking at the plants while sitting in the sun.

We had to do triggers in the first session and I found it hard. One trigger I have is hearing people say ‘I love you’ to each other. That’s a hard one to overcome but we all discussed how I treat myself over it but then I beat myself up for beating myself up. I need to stop beating myself up a second time. But I have to work with my psych to fix that trigger.

So much stuff.. my head is spinning. I’m tired and exhausted right now. I feel my mood sliding but I think I’m just overwhelmed with what I’ve been achieving and what I have learnt. I think I need a rest this afternoon. I had a big day at the gym yesterday as well. I should go for a walk but I just don’t have the energy. The walk would do me good but it’s really steep and I just don’t think I have it in me.

Sorry I’m just writing what is in my head.

Hey @Captain24 ,

That's totally okay. You are doing your best.

Have a break and go slow on yourself.

You're making progress and you know it 🙂