I can’t cope

No doubt you are trying hon @Captain24 Every post shows us that you are trying.

I know how hard it can be and the pressure of trying to get everything out of it we possibly can.

We are here with you hon through all of this 💌

I’m so distressed. I can’t even go out for a smoke by myself. The NUM is going to speak to me tomorrow. Plus I lost a friend today. She just up and left in a really bad state. I’m hoping that she is ok. I lose another friend on Friday. The dynamics have changed so much. But I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to start healing.

@Captain24

Ahhhh! That makes so much sense!

Thank you for clarifying.

I'm glad you are able to say you are there to heal.

I learnt that early on. People that go in are often quite unwell (including myself in the past). Yes, we have the tendency to be drawn to people who are going through distress, but boundaries are so important. Put it this way, people there are friends for a time, and then they continue their own recovery journey. Some try but are not ready for the types of supports in hospitals, and that's okay - that's why they leave. They will find their own support network.

We know you have a large heart and it can be quite distressing to see others in distress. However, remember that you are there for YOU and you ONLY.

We can really celebrate that you are reaching out to others to get support. Just keep doing it!

Hugs.. i've missed talking to you the last few days.

I’ve missed you too @tyme.

Yeah I mean ‘friend’. People in here are more for trauma treatment as apposed to crisis treatment. This girl I think is crisis. I didn’t ask for her story she just gave it. The nurses are having trouble too. So are some other patients.

Most of us are only her for ourselves. We understand that it’s about us not everyone else. We just look out for each other and offer support without details. It’s actually a really great place. If I need it I will come back here. With a little (just a little) less resistance.

When I have my first massive meltdown it was the girls that got me through it. The nurse just walked off and left us. It was an awesome bunch when I came in.

I think I’m doing a really good job in here. I’ve done so much more than I ever thought I would. Also reaching out like never before but not feeling as much of a burden. That’s what they are paid for. A really nice nurse was in last night and I couldn’t sleep so I just chatted to her at the nurses station. I don’t know the ones tonight so I’m wide awake with nothing.

Can you see my smile? Well, it's from ear to ear.

As I said, I reckon you'd be the perfect patient. I really knew you'd get a lot out of it (maybe not as much the first admission, but you have!)

I hope you have your little notebook handy to write down your day's learning including: I am here for myself.

@Captain24

I totally understand what you mean by people helping you through. It's a bit that way. I have certainly experienced it when I was in PARCs. The community was so strong and people stayed for 4 weeks (back then). I had 5 admission to PARCs in total until the last one where I was honestly able to say "This is my last. I don't need this anymore after this." And that was that 🙂

Happy ending 🙂

Hugs. I'm off now, but will catch up tomorrow.

Hi @Captain24 , I was sorry to read you were triggered so much yesterday and felt distressed and unsafe 😢

It's good that the nurses have your back and were working on the problem wiht that other girl.

What's the NUM? Nurse-something-something?

Hey @NatureLover

How are you going?

I just have to move past it. I’m just not sure how. It’s just a bit tough right now. I’m still getting a lot out of it though.

Nursing unit manager. She is lovely!

My mum has picked up my dogs. It appears that they weren’t looked after very well. At least I know for my last week they will be. I’m happy that they are safe.

I got to talk to them. It was so good and I didn’t even cry. Pix is so excited to see mum and dad that she even dribbled a little bit. She doesn’t dribble! After the excitement Pix went out to the toilet and then press her self against the front door so they couldn’t leave without her. The poor little thing must have been so distressed. But they are both happy now and apparently Jett has grown heaps. I know I have missed a lot of time in little Jetts life but he is happy and weak so that’s what matters. I know that they will be cared for from now. Plus I’m glad that they aren’t outside on their own at my place as there is a brownie getting around out there that hasn’t been caught yet.

I’ve just been for a big walk out of here so that was nice and refreshing. We walked through the edge of the water and it was beautiful.

Hi @Captain24 🙂

I'm so glad to hear that your dogs will be well cared for now! It sounds like they had quite the reunion with your mum and dad, especially Pix's adorable excitement! It must have been heartwarming to see them so happy. Also, walking by the water sounds like a perfect way to refresh and rejuvenate. Sending lots of love to you and your fur babies! 💜 🐾

It makes my last week here easier knowing that they are happy @lavenderhaze