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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

So I had an elevated mood last night. We went for a walk to burn off some energy. I had a massive fall. It didn’t bring my mood down though.. They had to drug me.

Today I am crashing in so much pain. Externally and internally. I don’t feel like I deserve to be alive. I don’t want to be alive. This place is a massive roller coaster of emotions

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Ohh hugs @Captain24 , sitting with you my friend ❤️

@tyme , @lavenderhaze , @RiverSeal , @Former-Member , @Snowie

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

RiverSealModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Sorry to hear about your fall @Captain24 and it sounds painful. Have you reached out to the nurses on the ward to let them know how you feel this evening? RiverSeal

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

There too busy @RiverSeal. They are short staffed tonight.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

RiverSealModerator

Re: I can’t cope

They are there to support you and will make time for you @Captain24. maybe just give it a go and see what happens. What do you think? RiverSeal

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Unknown userMember

Re: I can’t cope

I’m really sorry to read you’ve had an awful fall @Captain24 😔💜

How are you feeling? I hope things are starting to improve for you 💜🌺

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I did finally reach out @RiverSeal. We had a good chat and she said it didn’t matter what they were doing that they were here for us. They did decide I needed extra checks though.

I cried myself to sleep. I was still in

my clothes. I did wake up during the night and changed into my pj’s and went back to sleep. Now I’ve been awake since 4:48. I feel so tired and drained.

I found a Catholic Church down the road. So I’m going to go to that this morning. In the hope that the mindfulness helps. I’ll be late to group but looking after myself comes first.

Im still so sore and so low but I guess I have to continue to struggle along. As hard as it is, I really have no choice.

Hi @Former-Member nice to meet you.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Unknown userMember

Re: I can’t cope

Hey there @Captain24 🙂🌺

I hope things start to improve for you 💜

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

RiverSealModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Nice Work @Captain24! I hope you have a good day today 🙂 RiverSeal

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I’ve just been to church so I feel a little better. A little at peace. @RiverSeal

But now that I’m back and there is no facilitator to run groups I’m alone in my thoughts. I need to keep busy. I need something to do. It’s not going well

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