I can’t cope

It’s been good @NatureLover. I can see growth in me but at the same time I feel like I have way more struggles than before. I’m guessing that they are bringing stuff out of me that I have long since buried.

Today I have so much anxious energy. That I’m struggling to keep it in. I’m struggling to hold myself together.

I just sat in the med line and a lady was talking all about her weight. Her highest and lowest. That just triggered me. I’m already struggling and skipping meals. Bringing it up is scaring me. It’s making it hard. I don’t know if I should bring it up with my Pdoc today or not.

May e I could talk to one of the nurses. Maybe she could help.

@Captain24 i just want to acknowledge how hard it is to seek/ask for help and how well you are doing that. It is so courageous of you to reach out and let others help you.

I know how hard it is to even reach out in the first place. I have struggled with it myself since being in here.

Once again I am so proud of you hon ❤️❤️😊

Thank @Snowie.

We had the pool this morning and then gym. But one of the girls that have just left bought her dogs in for me to see so I was late to gym.

Then I had a Pdoc appointment. It was really good and insightful. I came out feeling really good. I have to try and get more time off work as she wants me to come again and do the next stage. I’m not sure when it is. Oh and I’m not allowed to take prn anymore or I won’t qualify for stage 2

Our groups this afternoon was amazing!!! There was only 5 of us in it and we bounced off each other. The facilitator took note for future reference. I didn’t know who I was in that group. It was about strengths and I tick a few not just one. Then we had to expand on them and one girl was struggling so I said did she want me to read out what I wrote. I participated so much and was encouraging to the girl with severe anxiety that can barely speak…

Who am I….

Wow... i'm so so proud of you. @Captain24

As you said, this is only the first stage. Work is work. You come first. Make the time for yourself to heal.

When I was going through therapy, I was working. However, I took a day off every week to ensure I made it to therapy. This showed commitment.

By you prioritising your therapy, you are actually showing yourself and others that you are committed to making changes.

Well done. I'm so pleased to hear about group. For me, the greatest work was done during group therapy - yet it was also the hardest.

Wow @Captain24 sounds like such a productive day. Well done for getting involved, you should be really proud of yourself.

I've found my prn has been really limited in here too, or maybe I was just relying on it too much before I came in.

It's no shock to me that you have all these strengths hon, they have always been there. Sometimes they just hide away.

I hope tonight continues along this positive way for you.

There are two stages in this clinic. Not everyone is invited to the second stage. It goes into everything in more depth. But yes I need to get through this one first though.

I just had to speak to my dad so that has brought me down a little. I’m obviously so not ready to talk to them or be near them.

I hope you are ok with going home @Snowie

How are you going? @tyme

I really believe in you re treatment and therapy. I reckon you'd be the 'model' patient/participant (whatever you want to call it).

Your honesty and transparency really shine through and it is clear that you have put others always before yourself. @Captain24

I'm so glad you are making this time for yourself.

If you are not ready to speak to your family, let it be. Can you send them a text message instead?

As for me, things are plodding along.

Perhaps they might talk about the second stage near the end of this stage @Captain24 But you are right, one stage at a time.

Hopefully this time away heals some deep wounds for you. I know the feeling of not wanting to talk to certain people. Sometimes that break can do wonders.

Looking forward to tomorrow.

Well done @Captain24 ! Am so glad you discovered you had some good strengths in group 🙂

Did you end up bringing up the triggering things about weight with your pdoc?

I'm so glad you're getting this break from your parents.

Here is Melbourne it will be 39C today then 38 then another 38 😨 I thought how much you would like it. 🙂

Hoping today is going ok for you hon @Captain24 💕💕