I can’t cope

Definitely @Captain24 . Making things less accessible is definitely the first step. I remember my safety plans in the past including throwing out things. I remember saying, but I'll just get more. The fact is, getting more takes effort. And often, that space between wanting and getting is enough to deter the action.

So there is absolutely hope there. I assure you.

I have things shoved in all different cupboards around the house and just a

minimal supply in reach. @tyme I can’t throw them out as they are what I need.

But I will keep holding on tight and know where to turn if in need.

When I first moved into my place, I only wanted one knife, one spoon, one fork and one bowl @Captain24 . Now I've got more, but I tend to only reach for the one, wash it, then use it again.

But I also have a lot of takeaway containers and glass dishes that people give me food in. So instead of transferring food to a plate as it should be, I just eat out of the container... such is the life of people who live by themselves.

By the way, I HATE washing the dishes.

I have a fully stocked kitchen of all that stuff @tyme but I do have a dishwasher that comes in handy!! Especially if you have to hide dishes.

im heading to bed. I have to get up early in the morning. Sorry for my overshare tonight. I’m getting good at that!

Good night @Captain24 ! I'm off to bed too now. You didn't overshare. All good. Speak tomorrow.

Hey @Captain24 - what time does your shift end?

I am home! @tyme

OMG it’s just what I needed. I had a young girl in the truck as my passenger today and we talked and laughed all day! I had the best day. No dark thoughts no dark mood. It was fantastic!!!

Sounds like connection is your healing @Captain24 ! Woohoo to you!

By the way... 'this young girl'? Are you allowed to just have passengers, or are they fellow-workers?

I'm so happy for you. At least you can write it down in your list of strategies 🙂

The young girl is a 21 yr old fellow worker @tyme and I’ve know her since she was born. So it’s pretty easy to chat since I know so much about her. She did tell me that her mum was struggling a bit so I said if she wants to talk to call me. Her mum has known me all my life. So there is a connection there. It’s not like a random person that sometimes happens. We don’t have passengers very often they just didn’t have a truck spare for her so she chose to sit up with me!

I think it was a combination of getting out of the house and back to work, the chat with and about old family friends. Also being to occupied to get into my own head. I did also take a lot of pain killers for my back!!!

Im hoping that being alone in the truck tomorrow I can still keep myself distracted.

I hope your day went well

Company sounds great @Captain24 - just what you needed.

Hence, as hard as it has been for you, regaining some form of 'normal' by going to work has helped.

In my recovery, having the responsibility of work was definitely one thing that kept me going. As much as I didn't want to go to work, once I was there, I felt much better.

I'm so glad it worked for you today. Hope you have a good rest.