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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29326 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

That all sounds so rough @Captain24 and really unfair if your folks. They sound selfish and self absorbed. I would be putting a few boundaries in between them and you to protect yourself if anything. There is only so much one person can give on an already empty tank before they collapse.
Id imagine it would be extremely hard but what would it be like to take a step back from them? Say no sometimes? I think maybe they rely on you a lot because they can? Could they stand on their own 2 feet a bit more?
I know it’s hard…. I have some similar struggles with my mum. But I think she is slowly getting it.
And not giving this as an excuse, but a lot of people of that generation…. Older folks, they just do not understand mh. It’s not something that they ever had to deal with. Which makes it really hard. My mum has been a little receptive, and I think she does her own bits of research, so she’s learning. Do you think they would be open to be given some material to read? To help them understand you better?

what have you got coming up over the next couple of days?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Bow @Captain24 @Acanthiza . Hope you are all okay.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Thanks for understanding @Bow. I know it all sounds petty but it’s breaking me.

I have tried to put boundaries but sometimes they get them unless it’s something they want. I have a hard time saying no to anyone. But if I disagree or say no to my mum she turns it all around onto me.. I think she is a narcissist actually, I’m sure. Then me having absolutely no confidence or strength I just can’t stand up to her.

Im feeling like this and they have no idea.. On Monday we are going on holidays together for a week. I can’t not go. I don’t know if I can mask that long. On top of that they will expect me to be nice to my selfish, inconsiderate, thoughtless brother when we have a family dinner night.

No they don’t get MH, I think mum needs to see someone but as you said, that era doesn’t get it and it’s a taboo subject. Mum would have googled it all when I told her what I had. She is internet obsessed and researches everything. The o my thing is that she doesn’t talk to me about my MI so she hasn’t told me what the internet says will cure it. Even though bipolar is a life long condition.

Hey @tyme

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I'm so sorry they don't understand. My parents don't understand, but if I told them i was in hospital for a few weeks, I'm sure they'd be supportive even if they don't agree with it @Captain24

You are doing your best @Captain24 - we all know that.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Thanks @tyme. Thanks for understanding.

How are you? How is everything?

I feel like we haven’t just chatted random stuff for a while.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Yes, so true @Captain24 . It feels like ages.

A colleague just sent me a video of their 5 cats and 6 dogs.... the cats are siamese and the dogs are all poodles

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Wow that’s a lot @tyme. I struggle with two!

How is sleeping on the floor or have you gone back to your nieces bed?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Nah, I'm on the floor lol @Captain24 . I'm absolutely loving it. Honestly. You know, if western society didn't dictate we needed to sleep on beds, I'd prob decide not to have one. The only think is I think I'd need some mat to sleep on in the winter - like those korean mats where warm water circulates!

Imagine in Australia going to a house inspection and finding no beds in the house. That'd be so awkward. Or people may think I can't afford a bed and feel sorry for me when really, I actually don't want to sleep on a bed. I'm literally sleeping on floorboards, not even carpet.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 , I just read your earlier post from today. It sounds incredibly hard that your parents are little to no support for you at this time. Would you ever consider living further away from them? Perhaps it would make you less accessible so that you can recover?

My heart breaks to read your post.

I really want you to know we are here for you.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I don’t know how you do it @tyme. I tried it on carpet and couldn’t do it.

I have this image of you in a house with no furniture just a sleeping bag on the floor!

Now I’m thinking of an inspection of a fully furnished bedroom with a ‘bed’ made on the floor. You know, like sheets doona and pillows!

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