I can’t cope

Breathe @Captain24 , what is important is your life. I know it is easy for me to say but when you are feeling this bad the thing that matters is you. Parents, work they can all deal with it. I am sure someone will step up and look after your little guys, especially if they get any inkling of how serious it is for you. Being open with people is good when you are struggling and takes a lot of courage. Sending lots of hope your way, you will find a way through all this I know it.

@Captain24 I know the feeling. Like @Acanthiza said, breathe. I know it's said so much, but it really is our first defence for managing dysregulation - deep breath in for 4, hold for 6, long slow breath out for 8, it will slow your heartrate and signals to your brain that you are okay.

I don't think your cm will give up on you, I think that like any human she may need time to process, but that's not something that you ought to feel bad for. When do you see her next?

Also, and I cannot stress this enough, you should always, always be putting yourself first. Your parents' feelings are NOT your responsibility. If they choose to guilt trip you, that is a reflection of their insecurities and not anything you've done. And to put it rather bluntly, who cares what they tell other people? My mum has guilt tripped me about that stuff in the past too, both in terms of my mental health and my gender identity. And it does sting, I absolutely acknowledge that. But the way other people perceive you (especially not even people that are your chosen people, but your parents friends or whoever these people are) is absolutely irrelevant in the face of the fact that you are a human being who needs and deserves to have support around you.

You need support, and you deserve support, and you did the incredibly difficult and brave thing and you asked for it. I'm so proud of you for doing so.

You don't owe anyone an explanation and you don't owe people a mask of wellness. You're allowed to just be, as you are, right now. And we will always accept you as you are, no matter what.

Long, slow breaths, and may rest find you swiftly. G'night hun, chat tomorrow if you like 💜🫂

Hi @Captain24 , I'm so amazed you got through work yesterday, well done!

Sorry you've been having such a rough time 🫂 Am thinking of you today with the appt with your CM to tell your parents. I am wishing for a big wall of protection that what your parents say doesn't make it through to your heart - tough I know, but I have hope. You come first.

Oh gosh re your hospital being 4 hours away!

I also wanted to say, I've been having a few days away from the forums lately - it usually means I'm not doing well, but I definitely still care about you. You're not a problem to me at all - you're definitely worth it. I consider you a friend. 💙

I’m so sorry everyone.

Hey @Captain24 Are you doing OK? What are you sorry about? I'm going to send you an email 💝

Hope your safe @Captain24

So I’ve slept all morning until my appointment. My CM hasn’t helped with telling my parents. I was hoping for some relief after it but no I still have to try and tell them. Why does it all have to be so hard.

Rough start to the day for you @Captain24, sorry to hear it 😞

Could it help to write a few dot points down and just focus on those? Are there ways you're expecting/worried that your parents will respond?

I’ve just rang and told my parents. Mum never asked if I was ok just said why can I take the dogs with me. She asked me if I had even asked and checked.

I was hoping that by telling her that I’d ask At puppy preschool tonight see might feel guilt tripped into saying something. I told her if worst comes to worst they will have to stay here and hope someone will come and feed them. It’s pretty cruel on them when they are with people most of the time. I feel sick. It reiterates how alone I am when I can’t even get dogs looked after.

I know you are all probably thinking that it’s just dogs but these 2 are literally my life lines. Without them there is no me. If anything happens to them while I’m away I will not live with myself. I will not live.

Im sitting here crying in fear of what is going to happen to them. I desperately want a smoke to calm me down and help feel better. But 14 days free I don’t want to slip up, I don’t want to fail at that too.

@Captain24 anyone who says 'they're just dogs' doesn't understand just how important our fuzzy companions are! They're members of the family; thinking, feeling animals that deserve love and support as much as we do. I'm sure you'll find a solution 🤞💜

Sorry to hear that your mum didn't take the time to actually check in with how you're doing. Sometimes, people have their own stuff that impedes them from being able to be supportive. Usually they're scared, uncomfortable, don't know what to say, etc. but it doesn't mean she doesn't care, probably just that she doesn't really know how to respond. Sometimes it can help to express our needs/desires to them, like 'Hey mum I know this is a lot, but it would be really meaningful for me if you could try to check in with me, ask me how I'm doing from time to time, and remind me that you care', or something like that.

Hey congrats on 14 days! I have quit smoking too, it's a tough journey. And with other challenges you're enduring along the way, I can totally understand how tempting it would be.

Something that helped me was learning the difference between a lapse and a relapse, when talking about addiction. A lapse is a temporary setback - e.g. having one or two cigarrettes when super stressed, but not actually picking the habit back up entirely, which would be a relapse. The reason I found it helpful was that it reduced the feelings of shame if I lapsed, and helped me to reframe it in my mind. I hadn't 'failed' by having a lapse, I could still continue down the path of quitting, rather than seeing it as 'oh well I smoked again, I guess I just can't quit right now'. You can do this, I know you can! 💜