I can’t cope

Nothing can be done @FloatingFeather . It’s just pain killers, Chiro and time. Hopefully the GP will give me something stronger tomorrow.

My mental health is really suffering I just wish I wasn’t here anymore.

We're sitting with you @Captain24 - I hope you know how many people care about you on the forums and wish you all the best. While SANE is here to support you as much as we can unfortunately, we are not a crisis centre. If you ever do need immediate support, please call:

- LifeLine on 13 11 14

- BeyondBlue on 1300 224 636

- Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

As mentioned above, while we are not a crisis centre we are a place for support, safety and to share our lived experiences.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

Thanks @FloatingFeather

My nurse is worried about me so I have a phone app with her this afternoon. I’m sure she will make me have a f2f app during the week. If I’m really honest I’m a little bit worried about me too.

My nurse is really worried and ringing me every day. I’m in real trouble. It will take 2 weeks for my change meds to start to work. It’s going to be a very long 2 weeks. With my back injury I shouldn’t be going back to work but I need to for my own sanity. I really just want to give in but that will be letting everyone down.
I feel so so alone.

I'm sorry you feel like this @Captain24. I hope you know that we are here for you anytime you need support or just someone to chat with so please don't think you are ever alone.

Warm wishes and hugs,

FloatingFeather

I deserve to be alone @FloatingFeather. I usually end up pushing people away any way. I really need to talk but don’t know where to start. I am really not ok.

I'm so sorry to hear you feel that way @Captain24. No one deserves to feel alone, and you're not here. I'm sitting with you, and I can see @creative_writer is around too.

In terms of needing to talk, but struggling with where to start... It can be hard! You're welcome to write here or you could also get in touch with one of the services suggested by FloatingFeather earlier, like Suicide Callback, Lifeline or even BeyondBlue. You can also reach SANE 1800 187 263 between 10am-10pm if you'd like to talk to someone 1:1 non-urgently. Wishing you whatever strength and courage you may need to get through and holding hope things will feel a little better soon. Take good care of you ❤️

Possibly triggering

Thanks for making me feel less alone @TideisTurning @creative_writer .

Im just going to write everything that’s in my head. Its not pretty. I am safe though.

I feel worthless, useless and just feel like I am nothing. I’m fat and ugly. I’ve packed on the weight with the meds I’m just coming off. I don’t want to be alive, I just wish I could die. I don’t deserve to die though, I deserve to suffer. I don’t feel like I deserve help. I just wish it would all go away. Maybe if I wasn’t such a bad person I could pull myself together. I don’t know how long I can keep feeling like this. I just want to give up but I know I can’t. I really hate who I am and what I’ve become. Will this ever end? Will I ever begin to feel normal again. Why is every day so hard.

Happy I could help @Captain24. I'm hearing there's a lot going on for you, and there's a lot of heavy stuff you're carrying. I'm so sorry to hear of what you're experiencing and feeling right now. Thank you so much for sharing with us though, and also for letting us know you're feeling safe at the moment ❤️I can see that while there's a lot of helplessness and darkness, it also sounds like there may be a few slithers of light. You mention wanting to give up, but knowing that you can't for example. May I ask what it is that keeps you from giving up?

I'm also wondering whether you are linked in with any support professionals you could speak to? If not, or even if you are, I want to encourage you to reach out, to a helpline like Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467) or BeyondBlue (1300 224636), or to make an appointment with one of your support team you're already engaged with- you might be able to ask to be put on an emergency cancellation list if that's something that would be helpful.. It sounds like it'd be super beneficial for you to be able to speak to someone 1:1 and get the support you deserve. Sitting here with you in the meantime. Take good care ❤️