I can’t cope

I’m in bed and my head is still pounding, my body is still aching, I’m shaking and feel really lethargic and sick. Hoping to get some sleep before tonight.

I know you are all sick of me, I’m sick of me.

This is all I’ve got right now but I’m too self-absorbed and just don’t have the capacity to be supportive of anyone. I know that that’s not ok. I am really sorry. I don’t mean to be a selfish person. This ‘severe bipolar depressive episode’ is turning me into a thoughtless and insensitive person and I don’t like it, I don’t like what it’s doing to me.

I am reading along and do care.

At least with notifications not working no one will see this.

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@Captain24 wrote:

At least with notifications not working no one will see this.

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Hi @Captain24 , I see it... As you know my psychologist has limited me to only the early mornings on the forums. But I am interested and I care. I'm not sick of you at all. 💙

And it's perfectly OK not to support others when you are so low and struggling to survive.

I'm wondering if you went to work after feeling so sick? And whether you managed to get any sleep or not?

I'm concerned as you mentioned the fluid intake with the 40C heat. At least I guess it might be cooler at night...but I hope you are OK.

Thanks @NatureLover.

Thanks for caring. I know you only do mornings but I really appreciate your morning support.

The struggle is so hard. I’ve never been this extreme before. It is really scaring me. Like never before.

Yeah I went to work. I only got 2 hrs sleep so I’m pretty tired right now.

It did cool down a bit overnight. At 1 am it’s was 30 degrees and at 5 it was 28.

Im just in bed now to try and get some sleep. I’ve taken all my night meds plus OTC painkillers so hopefully that all knocks me out.

I still have the headache and body aches but I just have to soldier on. I have to work.

You said you were upset.. Are you ok?

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@Captain24 wrote:

The struggle is so hard. I’ve never been this extreme before. It is really scaring me. Like never before.

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Yes, am concerned for you @Captain24 🫂

I really hope you can get some good healing sleep today. It must be hard juggling your meds when you do day then night shifts.

30C and 28C are still hot for working. I hope you can get enough fluids

Yes, I'm still upset but I'm OK thanks. Just getting through somehow.

I suppose there's less people around in the mornings on the forums, so my morning posts might be OK. I'm late today though.

Good luck today and tonight at work... 🤞

Hey @NatureLover

Im getting really concerned about me too. Its getting really bad.

I had a really good sleep and I’m about to head off again.

My neck is really hurting and that’s not helping me at all. It’s bringing me down even further, which I didn’t think is possible. I feel like it’s making me fail at work as I can’t do as much. I have to sit around from 1am - 5am. It’s really isolating and hard.

I hope you can get through it soon.

@Captain24 aww I'm sorry about your neck, that sucks! Neck soreness really can ruin ya whole day. Did you sleep on it funny or is it more a persistent thing over multiple days? Would some progressive muscle relaxation help to release some tension?

Here for you if you need 💜

Hey @Jynx

I hurt my neck a few weeks ago at work. I’ve done some extra stuff in the last 3 shifts and it’s really sore. I just feel like crying. I’m sitting here at work now just in the meal room on my own. I’m not supposed to have my phone but right now I don’t care.

How are you?

Oh ouch @Captain24! Have you been checked out by a physio? Is it enough for workers comp? Could be worth at least contacting the ombudsman or whoever from FairWork Aus to chat about it.

I'm not bad, having a bit of a low energy day today. Just been chilling playing video games and now chillin with the forums fam.

Yeah. I’m going to physio @Jynx. I don’t want to go down the workers comp path. We will just work together to get my back out in the pit on full duties.

Low energy can be hard but sometimes it’s a good thing to just rest. You love your video games don’t you! I have played ant for years. I’ve got a Wii, I should plug it in and give it a go. I use to love me a good game of Mario

@Captain24 that's fair enough, I hope you heal up real soon hun 🤞💜

Haha yep I sure do! Oh nice, heck yeah get your Mario on! I've also heard good things about Luigi's Mansion and Paper Mario, no idea what console they're on though. Hope you have fun!