I can’t cope

I think I need to be in more control of my psych appointments. @tyme Instead of letting her just go about our appointments I need to guide them more. I think after our last one when I started with certain words, she may let me. It’s the most concerned that I’ve seen her. She really listened without any judgement for the first time. I was more open and vulnerable as well. I think it was a good step in our relationship.

I don’t know what else to do or where else to go. This dark void is suffocating me. The internal pain is so intense.

As much as I can acknowledge how unwell I am and how much I’m allowing myself to go a little easier on myself and being able to sit in it for a while. I’m scared that by allowing that I’m enabling myself to not get well. I don't know if that makes any sense.

I just know I can keep going on like this. I’m getting a little distressed right now.

Im sorry for this.

Most definitely @Captain24

Remember, it's YOUR session. They are not mind-readers. It would be good if you could guide the session more as you said. Have a list of what you want to discuss.

It sounds so hard for you right now.

See if you can do some of the exercises where you focus on a feeling and describe it in terms of size, shape, texture, feel etc.

These are just little bandaids until you get the help to tackle some of the roots of issues.

You CAN do it @Captain24 . We are here for you.

I’m really struggling right now @tyme

I'm here @Captain24 .

Feel free to email if you think that's better for you.

I gave into the fear of going to work. I’ve barely slept all night. It doesn’t seem to matter what I take I can’t get to sleep. I toss and turn all night then when I finally get to slept from about 5 am onwards I sleep in til about 10. It’s usually an interrupted sleep anyway.

Usually lack of sleep puts me in an elevated mood. This time it’s worsening my out of control depression. It’s putting me so much more at risk.

Hi @Captain24, I am really sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment.

I have sent you an email, please check it out and let us know how you are doing.

Sorry to hear @Captain24 😢

I’m in a really dark place already. I just read something on here that has triggered me even more. I shouldn’t read other stuff especially with where my head space is.

Hi @Captain24 ,

Sorry to hear there were something triggering to you in the forum. Please don't hesitate to let us know if there is anything we can help you with.

Have you felt like this before? If so, what had helped you to feel better?

T/W SA

I usually don’t get triggered to much @GardensHeart. But right now I am.

I've had a steaming hot shower and scrub my skin so hard. I feel dirty, cheap and nasty.

The post hits to close to home and uses a word that puts me right back there. I know it was my own fault but it doesn’t stop the feeling.

Can you please put a trigger box around that? I don’t want to do the same to someone else. Or delete if to inappropriate.