I can’t cope

@Captain24 💕💕

Hey @Luna8

Thank you for your post and sharing with the community here on the Forums.

It sounds really tough losing your grandma and uncle and your two best friends since year 7. I think anyone experiencing this loss would feel alone and miss the people who used to comfort them. I remember when I lost my grandparent's it left a bid whole in my life, and it was pretty tough. And I ended up losing all my school friends along with all my other friends due to my mental health.

You are demonstrating your resilience and courage talking about things here on the Forums and the Forums can be a good place to start some new connections. Here is a post with some of the place you can connect with others: Looking for a space to connect with others? Find a... - SANE Forums

I'm going to pop down some support lines where you can reach out to in case you benefit from talking with someone:

• 1800 187 263. Counselling
• Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Lifeline Chat
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or Beyond Blue Webchat
• 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732, www.1800respect.org.au
• Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or Online Counselling
• Kids Helpline (up to ages 25): 1800 55 1800, http://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/phone-counselling
• If in immediate danger: 000 www.triplezero.gov.au/triple-zero/How-to-Call-000

Thanks for reaching out to the community!

Take care

RiverSeal

Happy New Year @Captain24 ...sending wishes that this year is a better one for you, with healing 💙

Thanks @Snowie. I hope your holiday is going well.

I cried all the way home from work on Saturday morning @NatureLover. Then I cried all the way there on Saturday night and before our prestart meeting. After the meeting I went and sat in the room on my own. Someone then came in a gave me a job to do. They were only little jobs but it was something and I had some social contact. When I hot seated the truck. I asked the guy if he said anything. It turns out 2 different work mates went and reported how I was feeling. That was really nice of them. So last night I was given a lot of jobs to do as well. I did still have alone time but knowing that they were going to get me when they needed me made everything ok.

Thanks for your kind words too. I really appreciate them. I appreciate you spending your limited time with me. I am grateful. The other one was empathy! Yes it was from my childhood. A lot was and is still being said that has stuck.

@outlander @Bow

Finally I want to wish you all a Happy New Year. We were able to survive last year. Let’s work together and help each other to survive this year too.

Hey @Captain24 that was so nice that they spoke up and they have given you some things to do. You are not forgotten.

happy new year @Captain24

Yes, the other one was empathy @Captain24 ! You have my top most admired characteristics 🙂

Am so pleased 2 workmates reported on how you were feeling on Sunday night and gave you jobs to do - yay 🙂

Hoping today is a good day for you...

Thanks @NatureLover and @Bow.

I hope today is being kind to you both.

I have given myself a very large list of things to do in the next 3 days. I have broken them all down into little bits. I’m hoping that by being busy it’ll slow down the spiral I’m heading into.

While it was great and meant a lot that the guys sort help for me. The first night really bought me unstuck. Having tasks for the next 2 nights was great but at the same time, why did it take someone to say something for them to consider me. My boss laughing in my face to first night didn’t help either.

At the same time as all of this is going on I am trying to quit smoking. The addiction is easing but the habit is not. I am on medication to help with quitting but it may interfere with my meds.

I’ve done some of my list. I feel pretty proud of what I have achieved.

I now want to go out and weed my garden.. make that need to.. but my neighbours are out and the kids are all riding up and down the footpath. I can’t go out there. I’m to scared too. The thought of seeing people and people seeing me is giving me an anxiety attack.

My chest hurts, I’m struggling to breathe, I have a headache, I’m shaking, I’m lightheaded and can’t think straight. I just feel so tense.

I don’t understand what is going on.

Also mum is messaging me non stop. It’s driving me crazier than I already am. Also she expects me to walk the dogs with them tonight.

I feel like I can’t take anymore on board. I just want to be left alone and to be able to feel comfortable going out the front

Hi @Captain24

Good on you for posting and researching. As is often said, the first step is often the hardest. You've been struggling with a lot.

I can relate with what you are going through Captain, I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety in the past. can empathize with crippling anxiety and not wanting to go outside or for anyone to see me.

I have seen a range of health professionals over the years: GPs, psychologists, and psychiatrists.

Currently, I'm doing a lot better than when I was in my teens.

You have made it this far, which takes strength and courage. If you want to chat some more, I am here and ready to listen. We can chat over here or via email?

I need to calm this anxiety attack down @Melbcoffeesnob. It’s leading to too many other thoughts. I’m trying to regulate my breathing but it’s just hurting my chest.

So not being able to go outside could be part of this?

There is a storm coming so I hope it hits before I have to walk with mum and dad. I can’t face them either right now. Mums becoming high maintenance. I put boundaries in before and the got blurred with all dads cancer stuff and now I’m struggling to put them back in.