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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

tymeModerator07 Sept 2022, 3:36 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

You're amazing @Captain24 ... such an inspiration. I haven't cooked in months... well, not proper cooking.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor07 Sept 2022, 3:47 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I wouldn’t say I was amazing @tyme.
I was supposed to do it yesterday for work today but my back was too sore to stand up and when the nurse said I wasn’t mentally or physically fit for work I didn’t do it. Because I was so low she was worried about my safety. It’s not a really good place to work with suicidal thoughts.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator07 Sept 2022, 4:44 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Makes sense @Captain24 .

By the way, I looked up the dump trucks you drive - I'm astounded! I'd love to drive one of those! Soooooo incredible! It's like when I drive a heavy vehicle, it's not the manual driving that i like, but the ability to sit up above everyone else 🙂

Hope today has been better for you 🙂

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor07 Sept 2022, 5:01 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

They are pretty big @tyme but you are more talented by being able to drive a heavy vehicle! The big trucks I drive are auto and are easier to drive than a car. I love manual vehicles. My good car is an auto because that’s all they came in so I kept my old car because it’s a manual!

Im actually really really low (SH and SI thoughts) but there is others on here that need more help than me. I’d rather they get what they need.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator07 Sept 2022, 5:23 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I'm sorry you are not in a good place today @Captain24 . I haven't caught up with everything that has happened on the forums since Sunday, but are you supposed to be working tomorrow?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor07 Sept 2022, 5:48 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I really just don’t want to be here but I’ve been through this before and I guess I’ll get through again. @tyme

I have a psychiatrist app tomorrow so I had already taken it off. I will probably go back on Friday night for the 3 night shifts.

I’m hoping the medication change gets me away from these thoughts. I’m also hoping the pain relief medication that they gave me at the hospital helps lower the intense back pain.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator07 Sept 2022, 5:52 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Just to add @Captain24 , you deserve to get the support that you need. It's not about whether others need it more. We are here for others as we are for you.

Please do not think you do not 'deserve' to be here.

Safe posting and posting in a way that aligns with the guidelines is all we ask 🙂 You are definitely welcome to be here!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor07 Sept 2022, 6:11 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

There’s really not much to my life @tyme but hopefully there is good around the corner. I just hope it’s not too far away.

I’m just feeling negative. I’ve been in this space for 10 days and I’ve had enough. The pain is dragging me down too. What’s stopping me from giving in too the thoughts is my app tomorrow and the hope that things will change.

Hope you had a good day

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor07 Sept 2022, 6:48 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Just found out my auntie and uncle are in town from qld. They are the only family I have told what is going on. So I’m nervous and excited about seeing them. They haven’t seen my new house so I’m having a BBQ tomorrow night. Which means more food prep and house cleaning for tomorrow!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator07 Sept 2022, 6:53 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Oh @Captain24 - back pain. I had a martial arts injury in the past and my back suffered for a LONG time.

Exercise helped a lot. Particular exercises helped a lot too. I started off going to a physio, then after a while, I just continued the exercises at home.

As for your aunty and uncle in town - sounds exciting!!!! I haven't had a BBQ in years! Salivating now. Can I have some virtual BBQ food tomorrow? I'll be here. LOL - no pressure!

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.