I can’t cope

@Captain24 I'm so glad you're surrounded by the lush wilds and having a ball with lil Pix!!

Hmm maybe that's part of it? The trying? I have this issue whenever I 'try' to relax - I keep setting my expectations high, then falling short, then feeling disappointed, and wind up more anxious than relaxed. Maybe try to just focus on the moment? Let go of the idea that you 'should' be anything, and just try to find the little things in each moment that spark joy. Like feeling the sand between your toes, spotting a cool animal, or finding rocks shaped like hearts (side note: my family all give heart rocks to one another and it makes a really neat lil gift).

You don't have to be happy in your happy place. You can be content, mellow, chill, or heck, you can even be melancholy if that's the mood that strikes. Just letting yourself be though, that's the way, in my experience.

Thanks @Jynx.

Im not tagging anyone as I know everyone is struggling with their own issues.

I feel like those people on social media that show the good stuff and make it appear everything is perfect…

I am having a great time. But in all honesty I’m not really ok. Maybe it’s the pain I’m in physically, maybe it’s my parents, maybe it’s that I can’t smoke (my parents don’t know). Maybe it’s just me.

Im going to bed early, I’m sleeping ok. Until the pain in my back and legs gets too bad.

Today I’m going to try to live in the moment @Jynx. Just maybe that will help. I do take in the sights and focus on them, I concentrate on the sand and the wind blowing it. I focus on the waves rolling over me.

Good morning hon @Captain24

Sorry you still have those nagging thoughts.

Living in the moment sounds like a good idea. I hope you are able to do so.

💗💗

Heya @amber22 are you around?

Hey! @Captain24

Yes! You must be psychic, I was just about to reach out to you.

How are you going today?

Hey…Im sort of ok… just been and watched the most awesome tide come in. I climbed down the rocks for a better view. @amber22.

Can we chat about safe posting at some stage?

Oh wow that sounds incredible @Captain24 Sounds like a good morning for it 🙂

Of course!! What was on your mind about safe posting from last night?

So I’m confused. As was said last night. You can be suicidal but not have the intent at the present time but really need support. @amber22 how do you post that?

Especially when every post has to end with a ‘safe for now’ when you can’t be certain that you are. I feel like you can’t write that you are not safe. You can’t write how you are feeling exactly.

But also if you can’t be sure of your safety. You don’t necessarily want emergency services called. Just support. Yes, there is helplines but I’ve mostly had bad experiences and they don’t know me. I like that some of you do know me, what I have and haven’t done in the past.

It’s just so confusing. I have written just the words’ I’m not ok’ and that post has been removed.

I feel like all that you can say is positive things when I’m a negative world.

I don’t really know what is safe to say and what isn’t. Im confused and I’m not really comfortable.

I don’t know if I have made any sense at all.

I completely get where you are coming from @Captain24 and it's really valid that you would be feeling confused and uncomfortable.

To be honest, I have always said that being the most honest with what you're feeling is the best, and sometimes that can take a bit more explaining than you initially would (but it can be worth it when you're trying to explain how you're feeling, and also to ensure that the moderator does not take it the wrong way and remove your post so that you can still get some support online).

For example; you can maybe post that you are experiencing some thoughts that you need some support with. You might not necessarily be thinking of acting on them, but you are having the thoughts and they are uncomfortable, so it would be nice if someone could please sit with you.

Also, being 'safe for now' just means in the current moment. So if you are having thoughts of suicide, and you do want to post about it and get some support, yet you aren't going to act on it in that very moment, it can be helpful to add the 'safe for now' even though that could change. It's just important to keep everyone around you that is supporting you updated on the escalation of your thoughts, so if they do change from being 'safe for now' to not safe, then that's when the moderator could step in (if they aren't already chatting with you anyway!)

I hope that makes sense 💘

It does a bit @amber22.

So I can say that I’m having intrusive thoughts. Just as long as I say I’m safe for now.

How do I put it if things change? For me mostly the thoughts are really close to acting but most times I don’t think I’ll act on them however, I can’t always be sure as obviously there have been times that I have.

Most of the time I don’t need a crisis service but I am too scared to call, when maybe I do, after some bad experiences.

Sorry to ask all this. Im just trying to understand a little better.