I can’t cope

Yep my mum can do that too @Captain24 . I'm so envious and wish it was something I could do!

It’s not something that I tell many people because I stress too much that it’s not good enough @hanami

Ive made many dance costumes too. My bestie would say ‘I want this’ and I would have to create it. I’m glad she doesn’t have the dance school here anymore!

It’s starting to rain!!! Yay

Well that was an interesting PGC.. it was really good but it did point out my biggest flaw and that I have made myself like this. My other CM was right. It is my fault.

Bit harsh on yourself? @Captain24

Can we flip the script and say that 'if' you have made yourself like this, can you also make yourself 'not' like this??? (btw, i'm not saying it is your fault).

You are you. You have your strengths and your not-so strengths. And so do we all.

I don’t know if it’s harsh @tyme or if it’s fact. She always said it was my fault. Now I guess I see it.

Im the one that beats myself up. I’m the one that hates myself. I’m the one that is not good enough. I’m the one that is the failure. I’m the one that puts so many demands in myself. I’m the one that is selfish.

I don’t know how to reframe it. Especially when I see it as the truth. It’s what has been ground into me.

Would it be helpful to talk about it tonight @Captain24 ? Or will it be more helpful not to talk about it?

I think I need to try and process it @tyme. Are you able to help with that? Or am I just too difficult?

No, you are certainly not too difficult @Captain24 . At the same time, what does 'processing it' look like to you?

I'm wondering whether this perspective has sunk in because it's getting late? Remember that our brains naturally default to negative thinking after sun set.

Would you liken the situation to seeing the glass half-empty instead of half-full?

I don’t really know @tyme. I need to get my head around all that I am. I knew I wasn’t a good person but this kinda set it in concrete.

I don’t think it’s to do with it being late. It’s what I see day in day out. It’s just the first time I have actually verbalised it in a non crisis way.

I would definitely say glass half empty. But that’s what I’ve sort of always been. Or I describe as a glass can only hold so much negativity (and it’s always like a thick black tar) and when it’s full it flows over and then that’s when I’m in serious trouble.