I can’t cope

Ohhh my @Captain24 , keep on keeping on my awesome friend

Sitting with you xxxxx

No matter what your brain tells you @Captain24 in my eyes, you're always worth it. And no matter what, when anyone says something mean to you or about you that reflects on them, not on you.

Just popping in to say I’m really far from ok but I am safe at the moment.
I’m going to stay off here for the rest of the night so I don’t say anything that I shouldn’t.

Thanks for the support guys

@Jynx @Shaz51

@Captain24 Thanks for letting us know. I hear you that it's all pretty crappy tonight, but sounds like you are choosing to do what is best for you in this moment. Hope tomorrow is better 💜

I’ve just been on the phone to a support line. They have said that I’m very insightful in my journey.

While I get that that’s a good thing, why can’t it help me when I need it the most? What am I doing wrong?

In my good moments I can understand what I need and what I can do but in the dark it’s like I have nothing to get me through.

The thought of going to my parents house for dinner is filling me with dread.

I have so many bad thoughts running through my head. I thought I was staring to get better but obviously not.

I did something to myself to remove the dread. Releasing the pressure made dinner bearable.

I still have thoughts running through my head but I guess I deserve them. Im so tired so I guess that doesn’t help

Hey @Captain24 ,

How's things? Did you have dinner with your folks? Happy to see you on 🙂

tyme

Hi @tyme

I know I said I’d stay off if I was negative but I really need to get this out. Hope it’s ok

I’m really not ok tonight. I am so disappointed in myself. I’ve let everyone that is trying to support me down. There wasn’t enough pink ice cream trucks. I haven’t done anything to myself for 20days. I’m not really sure as to why I feel really dark now. I have still been having low nights but this is one of the worst. I’ve got suicidal thoughts but I won’t act on them. I really need to talk but I am not up for calling anyone. The weird thing is is that I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. Throughout this entire mess I think I’ve only cried once. I just don’t know what to do. I’m hoping if I just sit through this I won’t do anything else to myself, it was hard to stop earlier.

I think I’m safe

I am so sorry to burden you with all this but I really needed to get it out.

Thanks for listening

I'm listening and I hear you @Captain24 .

It's okay to 'let it out'. This can help you release the pressure building up inside. Crying is another way of releasing pressure.

I hear how dark things can get. As soon as you think you are 'better', a dark cloud then comes along. I have definitely been in that place. And each time I 'failed', I felt more down about it. Now I've learnt that I cannot change the past... but I am in control of what I do now, and that will inform the future.

Allow yourself to hurt. Allow yourself to cry. And allow yourself to recover.

Hugs, tyme