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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

It's hard when parents put a lot of pressure on their kids @Captain24

I've always tried to make it 'fun' for my kids instead of a chore.

It's good that you have some day shifts in there too.

Not up to much today. Did some ironing and washing. I really should get off my butt and do some cleaning but motivation sucks. Too wet and cold to go outside. Well that is my excuse anyway 😒

Have you got anything planned for this afternoon?

In response to: I can’t cope

hanamiSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Yep, same for my body issues. I did my darnedest to make sure that I didn't pass it on to my daughters.

@Captain24

And the fact your mum is saying that about your stomach is so off. I hate that for you.

In response to: I can’t cope

BowSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 I played softball and netball as a kid, as well as basketball and badminton. I had no desire to do dance cause I knew I wasn’t pretty like the other girls.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Thanks @hanami. I just have to try and live with it and know that that is the way she is. I need to learn to accept that she never has any good to say.

That’s sad that you felt that way @Bow. I hope you think differently now.

That’s some things accomplished @Snowie. It’s 31 sunny and blowing a gale here. I have done quite a bit so far. I’ve done the hardest things. Like mow the lawn , bath Pix and done some washing. This afternoon I have to clean my house, change the sheets, go shopping and vote. As long as I get cleaned where mum will see when she picks up Pix, and vote that’s all that really matters.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Wow that is a busy afternoon @Captain24

I hope you are able to get through all of it. I really should go vote early to avoid the crowds on Saturday.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Content/trigger warning

TW: Suicide Ideation


Listing what I have done today has shown me that I have a serious problem.

@moderator
Can you please put a trigger box?

With my mood at an all time low and the SH behaviour plus the chronic SI but being able to keep going is a real issue.

Im feeling worthless, useless and hopeless. I just don’t want to do it anymore.

As much as I am really uncomfortable with it. I have emailed my CM. I really need her help. I think this is a mixed episode.

I think I’m safe right now.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

hanamiSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Hi @Captain24

I've done that for you but can you please edit the post to confirm you're safe right now.

Warmest wishes and hugs

Hanami

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I hope so @Snowie. I will just do the priorities first.

I had to vote early as I’ll be at work on Saturday. I don’t like the crowds anyway!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Priorities first sound good @Captain24

You are ticking things of your list so thats a good thing.

Sitting with you hon 💕

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

My list is going down. @Snowie. I’ve done everything that I had to do out of the house. So now I can stay home and keep going.

Sorry, it’s been all about me.

I hope your afternoon is going ok?

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