I can’t cope

It must be hard being on your own and having to worry about a mortgage @Captain24, especially with having to work as you navigate yourself through your MH.

I think it is normal for us to put ourselves on the back burner. I know for me one of the reasons I do it, is so I don't have to own up to having a MI. If I ignore it, then maybe it's not there.

You have achieved a lot already today. Taking your Dad to his tests is a big accomplishment.

I haven't got much planned for tonight. Am still not sleeping well so think I will be in bed early again. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to sleep, I am awake early.

I don’t really see today as an accomplishment more an obligation @Snowie Thats really horrible of me. It shows me what a bad person I am.

Yeah.. it’s the focus on someone else and remove and forget about yourself and what’s wrong. I see myself as defective.

If you go to bed early, even though you still wake up early, do you get more sleep? Or do you just wake up even earlier?

You're not a bad person @Captain24 Obligation or not, it is still an accomplishment.

I think it is normal for us to try and take the focus on ourselves. It is hard when it is I,I,I all the time. Makes me feel selfish.

If I go to sleep earlier then I just wake up earlier. I don't have a problem getting to sleep. That is the easy part. It is just staying asleep that is hard. Pdoc increased one of my meds but hasn't helped. Need to speak to him again.

This has already probably been said @Snowie and doesn’t always work but do you have a sleep hygiene routine?

I find mine helps me to sleep more deeply when I do it. I find the quality of sleep is more important than the length. But I am really lucky that I do sleep ok. I couldn’t survive with my MI without being able to sleep. I’m barely surviving with it.

I really hope your Pdoc can help. Sleep is so important.

I do have a routine @Captain24 It is normally nightmares that wake me up. Sometimes I can get back to sleep but I wouldn't call it good sleep. I often will wake up again and again.

I'm glad you have got good sleep. It certainly does affect us both physically and mentally. It would be even harder for you, especially when you work a night shift.

I’m sorry about the nightmares. @Snowie. I very rarely dream at all so I guess that’s a good thing.

Shift work does make it hard. But I have found that I can talk myself in or out of sleeping during the day. It doesn’t always work though. Some shifts I just can’t get a proper sleep.

Im heading off to bed soon. I’m really tired and exhausted and I don’t want any bad stuff to happen. I hate having to fight myself and thoughts every single night. I’ve recently discovered that I don’t always win.

It's good to hear that most of the time you can get sleep when you are shift working @Captain24 I would find it hard to sleep during the day.

Can understand those thoughts, they can be really difficult to deal with. I find them even harder in the afternoon/evening. You have had a big day so an early night sounds like a good idea. Will be in bed soon myself.

I said to my GP yesterday that from mid morning it starts and gets extremely worse as the day goes on. @Snowie

Thanks for chatting with me today.

I really hope that you can get some peaceful sleep.

Hi @Captain24

I hope you got some sleep last night and today goes well for you.

Talk soon 💗

I got quite a bit of sleep @Snowie. I started the day with motivation. I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and cleaned the bathroom. Now I’ve got nothing. I have washing sitting in the machine but I don’t care to get it out. It’s all started over again. The fight within myself.

I hope you could get some sleep @Snowie. You deserve a break from it all.

How is your day going?