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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Are you still at work @Captain24 ?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I’m at home now. @tyme @Shaz51 @Jynx

Content/trigger warning
Im full of so much hatred, anger and disgust in myself. I just want to punish myself for this. I deserve it. I deserve to hurt.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Ohh my @Captain24 , I know you want to do these things to yourself like Mr shaz does , and now he has his hand in plaster for the next 6 weeks

So please, big breath my awesome friend ❤️ And please find something else

@tyme , @Jynx

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

It sounds so hard right now, and I can hear the self-hatred.

As hard as it is, this is when these thoughts need to be challenged. I'm not sure if you have done any work around challenging your thoughts - if not, then now is probably not the best time to start. It's a skill that need to be practiced outside these difficult times so that they will be helpful when most needed.

Focus on the now.

Take 4 breaths in....

Hold for 2 secs......

Breathe out for 8 seconds....

REPEAT.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I’ve tried breathing. @tyme @Shaz51 I’ve tried sitting on the rug and feeling it underneath me. I’ve tried patting Pix. I’ve tried looking at my new garden.

I just can’t shake the urge or the hatred. The self loathing. I feel like there is so much hatred and anger built up inside me that I’m going to explode.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Go for a run to release some of that built up energy? @Captain24 I did that once. Ended up going for quite a while. I'm not a runner, but in this instance, it made a difference.

Ummm..... while running though, what made me run faster to get home was it started pouring (absolutely pouring!) and then it became freezing cold.... then it started hailing.... ooops! I think this experience took all the 'run' out of me!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

I'm thinking that even if you take Pix on a quick up and down the street, it may make a difference @Captain24

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

It’s pouring here. @tyme. I guess that’s good for the bushfire.

Content/trigger warning
I just tried jumping around. It’s just pushing me even further to my limit. I can’t take anymore. I feel like I’m just going to break. I can’t even go to bed because I’m to wired.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

It is that buzzing feeling inside where you can't unwind??? @Captain24 ?

I don't think Pix can go in the rain, but the fresh air and rain might refresh you a bit.

Have you ever had a cold shower?

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