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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

magpie4Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 5:55 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Glad to hear you cheerful, @Captain24 well done

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 6:10 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I’m trying really hard to be @magpie4. I want to get it finished tomorrow. I just have to hope that the nursery is open. Im not sure being a long weekend here.

It does feel good to have a sense of achievement and being able to push through my lack of energy and motivation.

At least I feel so tired for a good reason. Plus I’m too tired to do anything to myself. So I can easily say that I’m safe tonight. That’s not something I’ve not been able to say in over a week.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

magpie4Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 6:17 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Well done you @Captain24 sounding so positive, keep it up

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 6:54 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I find this so true. It happens so many times. I had my boss say to me, while I was in mania, that I was cured.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

magpie4Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 6:57 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 feeling good for a day or 2 is not "cured", just a day that is not the struggle

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 7:07 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I just laughed at him @magpie4. I was doing the whole rapid talking, laughing at nothing, being funny and full of beans. I said the is the other side of bipolar. It’s just as bad.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 7:15 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24, it is true MI is unpredictable, mania isn’t good in the long run too, it exhausts me out and can leave what I call a “mania hangeover”. I also get a migraine, which doesn’t add anything nice to it. Even if someone was to be euthymic for a while, they would still be bipolar and the chance of another episode is still high. I just hope I can be one of those people who can have an extended euthymic period, cycling is so damn exhausting and I feel like it’s taken a toil on my cognitive abilities

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 7:16 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24, I hope you can find sustained stability too 💖

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

magpie4Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 7:23 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Hello @creative_writer .

Also @Captain24 i did not realise the bipolar, so excuse me and not understanding. I dont know too much about this but i would imagine hard to deal with totally different to what i go on about. I wish you well.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Sept 2023, 7:25 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I crash really badly and really quickly after an elevated episode @creative_writer.

Stability would be nice. But it seems to be a pipe dream for me.

I don’t know if you have read my posts from the last 2 days but things are really rough right now. I could do with an elevation just for some relief.

Ive become really really tired after my huge day and that’s when I become pretty unsafe at the moment. So I am going to bed. I can’t undo what I have achieved for the day.

I hope you have a good night @creative_writer @magpie4

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.