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I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

fluffylightSenior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 5:35 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I acknowledge that 💛

How are you going? What does your night look like today? @Captain24

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 6:00 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I’m pretty uneasy tonight @fluffylight. I’m not sure where exactly I’m sitting but I don’t think it’s going down a good path.

Im just sitting home alone with Pix. I have no plans. I never do anything actually.

How are you?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

fluffylightSenior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 6:28 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24
Thanks for sharing this with me. You've noticed that things are feeling pretty uneasy. Is there something that you feel would support you tonight?

Here to have a chat if that will help 💛

Glad Pix is keeping you company. I don't get up to much either.

I am going okay thanks for asking me 🙂

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 7:05 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Things a rapidly going from bad to worse.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

fluffylightSenior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 7:09 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I'm sorry to hear that @Captain24

We are here for you 💛

Here to chat, please know you are not alone

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 7:21 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I’m getting scared @fluffylight. I know what I have done previously.

I feel very alone and unwanted

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

fluffylightSenior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 7:34 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24
You have had so much going on and I can hear how hard it is.

You are so wanted, we all care for you and I'm sorry about that alone feeling you are experiencing right now 💛

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator22 Sept 2023, 7:35 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

I've just sent you an email about an earlier post of yours.

I'm sorry to hear that things are getting worse. What did you end up doing today? I guess you didn't venture out?

I'm glad to be home. I haven't washed or cleaned anything, but I'll leave it for tomorrow.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor22 Sept 2023, 7:54 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Sorry @tyme. I’m just useless and keep stuffing up. I just won’t mention anything about it again. I’ll just keep it to myself. I’m not really getting any support in the outside world either. My CM doesn’t believe it. My dietitian hasn’t made an appt. I can’t use them with it anyway. I’ll just deal with it on my own.

I had a CM appt this afternoon. I went in feeling good. Then she thought I was just down for a week or two. I guess the other CM didn’t write very good notes.

I described the depression and how long and what I had attempted on more than one occasion.

I also told her that I was told its my own fault. She was horrified and apologised for having to hear that.

I left feeling very raw, vulnerable and unwanted.

That’s the worst part of going away. The unpacking, washing and cleaning! I hope it’s good weather for you to get it dry. I’m also one of those silly people that iron everything too!

Are you home alone?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator22 Sept 2023, 7:59 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

My niece came over a few minutes ago and told me to go over. But yes, I'm alone at home 🙂 @Captain24

I'm sorry to hear today has been so hard. After going round and round, you know what you eventually learn? That recovery comes from you.

I know they ask us to seek support and help, but really, ultimately, it is you who walks the road to recovery.

Don't let this little slip up leave you down. It's okay to slip. That's what reminds us we are human. Just keep going. You CAN do it.

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