I can’t cope

Ohhhh thank you @StuF , @Former-Member

Today I found out mum has hypoactive Delirium-- high functional Delirium which I know why now feel like a boxing ball to her

@Captain24 , @tyme

Thank you for checking in @Former-Member . @tyme has a fantastic way with words and analogies.

Hopefully with the care team it is just a ‘fire drill’.

I am unsure about going off the meds. I have felt so good for the last few days. I feel like I have completely stabilised. I haven’t felt this good in years!!

I have the MH nurse ringing me on Wednesday the day before I go off them and a GP app on Thursday. Hopefully they can prepare me for what may happen. My nurse has been fantastic so I’m sure she will continually check in to see I’m ok and I can ring her if I’m struggling.

As for on here just knowing I have support is all I need. Also knowing that you guys may pick up a crisis before I realise it helps too. Even though I said I wouldn’t post negative stuff I may need to vent as I withdraw.

Thanks for checking in and the support

captain24 💕

I know it’s hard @Shaz51 . But you just need to know that when you are being your mums boxing bag she doesn’t really mean it. They hurt the ones closest to them.

When we placed my nan into hospital with her dementia she ‘tried’ to end me. She did and said some really nasty things to me while she was in that episode. I was the only one allowed in the room other than nurses. So my nans husband and my mum couldn’t support me. I left that day in tears and I still haven’t forgotten but I know it wasn’t nan. I had a few days away and then I was back to being her favourite granddaughter and she told all the nurses so. But now I barely see her as she no longer knows who we are and I hate seeing the shell that is left of her.

oh @Shaz51 I just did a bit of a google. Sending you strength ❤️ Does it help having a name and reason for it? You are so strong and whatever you're feeling is real and valid ❤️

Sending the biggest virtual hug

@Captain24 I'm so glad you're feeling better than you have in years! Hopefully some of the good can carry through once you're off meds. But if you have any worries or questions, I'm sure your MH nurse or your GP will be super open to them!

Plus we'll be here if you need to vent ❤️

Thank you my @Former-Member for the hugs xxx

Have to see how long mum can stay in interim ward for now before I have to find somewhere else xxxx

So I just spoke with the MH nurse @Former-Member @tyme and the psychiatrist doesn’t want to take me off the meds now but is considering changing them to a different kind. I don’t know what too. This is due to significant weight gain and the diabetes markers.

Coming of night shift the call woke me up so I forgot to ask about my legs. They feel so swollen and a lot fatter. Even my shoes feel tight. I have a gp app in the morning so I’ll check with her. I also find out in the morning if I have a psychiatrist app tomorrow.

I’ve only had an hours sleep since I got up at 4:30pm yesterday so I’m going back to bed for a while. I know being over tired is a really bad trigger so I need more sleep. I don’t want to go back into that spiral.

I just feel relief that I won’t be unmediated!

Hey @Captain24 I hope you can get some rest, that definitely doesn't sound like enough sleep. I would be very tired and that would make it difficult for me to think clearly or cope.

I'm glad to read you have that GP appointment tomorrow. Your health comes first. I hope you can get that sorted soon, it sounds uncomfortable.

Please take care

Oh no @Captain24 - seems like fluid in the legs or something! Definitely good to get it checked out. Diabetes means you have vulnerabilities to eye and feet/leg issues.

I hear you. I hope they will be able to titrate your medication to exactly what you need.

Hang in there my friend 🙂

tyme

I’ve just woken up after a good sleep @tyme @Paperdaisy .

My legs have gone down a little. However they are sore. Hopefully it’s just fluid but I’ve googled it and it’s a side affect of the medication. I’ve put on a fair bit of weight in the last ninety. I’m hoping it’s not diabetes or my heart. I’m waiting to get into the dietitian in regards I my elevated blood results but it could be a bit of a wait.

Im hoping that if I don’t get into the psychiatrist tomorrow that she has sent all the info to the gp.

Could be an interesting couple of days.

Hope you both have had a great day