I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

I'm not over you. Hope you are okay. What's happened today? I've just seen your messages.

@Captain24 hoping bed was a bit of a comfort for you and today is going ok.

Sending lots of love 💕💕

Thanks @Snowie. At the moment my bed is the only safe place for me. Work was sort of ok. I was put in a few sticky situations that I struggled with after yesterday. But at least I managed to keep all wheels in the ground today. Not 3 metres off like yesterday.

I hope you had a good day.

Glad to hear today was a bit better fr you @Captain24

Sending some hugs your way 🤗💜

Im over me @tyme so I don’t blame anyone else being over me.

It was a rough day at work yesterday. Im physically ok. My passenger side tyre was 3 metres off the ground. The truck is 5 metres high. Then the load was all on one side and every corner I turned my passenger tyre came off the ground, just a little bit. But it didn’t feel good. I was shaking so much by the time I tipped it off.

As for mentally, I am far from ok. I have given up and I don’t want to be here anymore. There is no hope of ever living a decent life.

Sorry

I hope you have had a good day

Oh @Captain24 ,

Please don't say that. You are not a bother or a nuisance on the forums. Your mental health is telling you that. This is not you.

We have had amazing conversations over the past months. I hear it is so hard right now and we are all worried about you. We want you to get the support and help you need.

Trust me, sometimes it can be more upsetting when you feel we think you are a nuisance because you are clearly not.

I and the community here will walk with you this whole way.

You are NOT alone even if it feels all to hard right now.

Allow yourself to be helped. Just let go of the trying and let others help you.

I spent the day on some pretty uncomfortable angles @Jynx. My anxiety was still high but at least it wasn’t as bad as yesterday.

Driving home there was a massive lightning storm, so that was nice. Now it’s pouring with rain. At least it waited until I got home.

How has your day been

Letting go can feel scary. It can feel hard @Captain24 Yet there comes a point where it's just something that needs to be done.

And when you do it, you will feel a great sense of relief. You have tried and tried and tried for many months. I read you are tired.

Yet at the same time, I know there is something much brighter not-so-far away.

Just tell you CM to do what they think is right.

@Captain24 oh hun, I am so sorry that you are experiencing such intense hopelessness, it is so hard to hear. I can only imagine how heavy everything feels for you right now. I'm gonna flick you an email so keep an eye out. You may not see any light for the future but I believe there always is, and am holding onto that hope for you 💜