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I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 July 2023, 8:56 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I don’t think that there is anything @outlander. I just thought that I would have made more progress by now. I feel so disappointed in myself. I thought my journey would be quicker. I have worked so hard and feel like I haven’t gotten anywhere.

I have made myself worse @tyme. I wish I hadn’t remembered last year but it’s hard as it was Pixies and my friend’s birthday so it is an easy reminder. I feel

like I have failed.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2023, 9:01 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

hearing you @Captain24 it is really tough

Can you list anything that you have learnt in the last year? something you mightve improved on or learnt thats new

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 July 2023, 9:16 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I’ve learnt that it’s ok to not be ok @outlander. It’s ok to ask for help and that I’m stronger than I realise. I’ve also learnt techniques to help just sometimes I don’t see them.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator09 July 2023, 9:19 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

@outlander has made some really good points. The learning you have had in the last year is something you otherwise wouldn't have been able to learn.

If you have 'failed', then I have 10 times more than you. As you know, I had more than 10 years of the same 'failings'... maybe closer to 15 years.

Yet, in each of us, there is a part that is crying out to be heard. Striving to survive. Battling the odds to be who you want to be. Let that part of you grow. It may take more than 2 years. It may take more than 5 years. But when it happens, you will be able to look back and surprise yourself.

Life is not about focusing on where you have fallen, but looking and learning from how you've managed to get up each time @Captain24 . 🙂

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2023, 9:22 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

well said @tyme

look at the skills youve learnt @Captain24 they are really great and often its not easy to learn them either.

we all fail at times but what we learn from that i find it more important

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 July 2023, 9:36 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Thanks @tyme @outlander.

I need to stop beating myself up. I know that but it’s hard. I need to focus on the positives but I’m really struggling with that. It’s all just too hard right now.

Sorry, I’m being difficult and I hate myself for it.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator09 July 2023, 9:41 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Do you think you can put these 'other' thoughts to bed, and just keep Pix's birthday ones alive for tonight? @Captain24

Give yourself some space to enjoy the day 🙂 You deserve it. Just keep looking back at those photos of Pix. She is sooooo adorable with her pressies and her cake. You are such a thoughtful, loving mum.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2023, 9:44 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

it can be hard to focus on the positives when we are feeling low @Captain24

i like @tymes idea of putting them aside for now and focus on Pix's birthday and your achievements from the day. tomorrow is a new day to start again

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 July 2023, 9:46 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

We have had a good day @tyme. She is exhausted and is in her bed snoring. I should probably just go to bed and take her with me. Hopefully she feels like snuggling tonight.

Maybe a good nights sleep will help

me too.

She is to beautiful not to love and spoil.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 July 2023, 9:48 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I will take her to bed and hope for a better day @outlander. Thank you once again for your support tonight.

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