I can’t cope

I’m trying so hard to settle myself down. My anxiety and social phobia are in overdrive.

I have a family funeral to go to today. I want to go. But there is going to be a lot of people. It’s a big family. The wake is going to be the hardest as that’s where I will see family I haven’t seen in a while. I’m ashamed of my body as I’ve gained so much weight and they have never seen me this fat. I’m scared that I won’t be able to chat with the cousins I love and haven’t seen. I’m scared of being judged. I’m scared of what to wear. I’m scared of how I look. I’m just scared to go.

So we get to the church and no one is there. I check the funeral notice and it’s next Friday. Oops. Now I have to try and bring my anxiety levels down. Now that I’m back home I need to go shopping but I don’t want to leave the house. I just want to know what is wrong with me. When will this episode end. Will it ever end. I don’t want to feel like this all the time or when I have something on.

Hi @tyme, I hope today goes well for you. I also hope you can get the sim card from your sister. My brother and I live very different lives too 😏

@Captain24 I am sorry you have a funeral to go to today, and even more concerned for you with everything you have to go through. It is extremely scary when we haven't see people in a long time and we have to think about everything that could happen.

Please remember that you have us here to support you in any way you need.

Hopefully we can talk this afternoon and this evening.

Sending lots of love and strength your way 💌💌

Oh dear @Captain24

Just saw your post after I posted mine.

It is good that you have got longer to prepare for the funeral but at the same time we just want things over and done with.

Hi @Captain24,

Sounds like a difficult way to start the day. I really do hope these feelings you struggle with lift for you soon and you find the happiness that everyone deserves.

Sending you hugs,

FloatingFeather

Oh @Captain24

What a start to the day. These feelings will end. I have all the hope in that for you!

Sending hugs

Hanami

Thanks for your support @hanami @FloatingFeather @Snowie. I do appreciate it.

It has been a rough day. To have all those anxiety thoughts then to have to try and unwind from them has been exhausting and feels like wasted energy.

I’m now back to not wanting to leave the house. Which isn’t a good place to be in. But I did have an awesome 2hr phone call with my bestie.

Hi @Captain24,

I can imagine that sitting with the anxiety and built up energy and then for it to sort of have no where to go would be challenging and tiring for you. I hope you feel more relaxed / better as the day goes on.
I get why you just want to stay home for a bit - I think it's important to give yourself some compassion and understanding around this as you have been through a lot lately but I do also understand that you don't want to get to the point where you struggle to leave the house.

It is really good that you had a great chat with your best friend - nothing like a catchup with a great friend!

FloatingFeather ❤️

I was feeling better but as the afternoon goes on my anxiety is climbing. @FloatingFeather. I have to go and get my back strapped at 5. So I will have to leave the house but the anxiety about leaving is out of control. I’m not ok. I don’t know how to stop it.

Do you have some grounding techniques you can practice @Captain24 . You probably have some but I'll pop these here https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-article/grounding-techniques-article